Hazel Rose
by JMLHCPKSfan
Summary: After moving to Cali, Kendall thought that dating James's sister was behind him. He even moved on to James- who still has No Idea about his new boyfriend and his sister. When Rose comes to visit, bearing Kendall's child, Kendall must decide. He's falling for Rose All Over Again, plus his son is due in just a few months, yet at the same time he still loves James with all his heart.
1. Double Diamond

"I love you." Rosie whispered in my arms. She was warm and comforting, although I heard a hint of weakness in her voice.

"I love you more." I murmured back. "But I need to go."

"Please don't, Kenny. Please?" she pleaded. I shushed her.

"You'll wake up your brother." I whispered.

"You know James. He could sleep through a tornado." she whispered.

"I don't wanna take any chances." I said, getting up. I handed her her underwear and my t-shirt- the hockey one that I gave her a long time ago. It had my number and last name on the back. Then I pulled on my own boxers and pants, but she was up before I could get on my shirt.

"Please- just stay the night." she begged. "You can get up early."

I took her in a hug when I saw that tears were spilling from her face.

"Don't leave me." she sniffled, her cheek against my shoulder.

"I have to." I whispered.

Against all Bro Codes, I'd been dating Rosemary Diamond for about six months. Okay- so only Logan knew about it, but if James found out, he'd kill me. Rosie was the woman clone of James, except a year younger. The top of her head came to the bottom of my nose, her long dark hair reached the middle of her back, and the color of her eyes and olive skin matched James's almost perfectly. Most of the time she was calm, collected, and responsible- the opposite of James- but she had her moments.

I stroked her hair as I felt her tremble in my arms.

"You'll find some California girl to replace me." she said in a panicked voice.

"No way."

"And you'll be famous and too busy to call me every day."

"Don't worry about that stuff."

"And James- God knows what he'll do. He'll get someone pregnant. Kendall- PLEASE don't let him have sex with some bimbo."

I agreed, although I didn't want to tell her that he had sex with bimbos all the time. She thought her older brother was still a virgin.

"I need to go." I whispered after a while of hugging.

"I know."

I unwrapped my arms from around her and pressed my forehead to hers, hands on her waist.

"Look at me, Rosie." I whispered. Her hazel eyes lifted to mine tearfully. "I'll call you every night. And text you every moment I can. I won't forget about you- ever. As long as you don't forget about me."

"I love you, Kendall." she whispered- which was weird. She usually called me Kenny, although most called me Kendall. I usually called her Rosie, although most except James called her Rose.

"I love you more." I said sincerely. Suddenly, I heard the door across the hall open and footsteps emerge. Bolting for the neat closet, I crouched beneath dresses and t-shirts, watching as James came in the room.

"Who're you talking to?" he asked- long hair messy- no shirt on, just boxers.

"I was on the phone. With Mom." Rosie lied. "She's in a different time zone, remember?"

"How come you didn't let me talk to her?"

"I didn't wanna wake you up."

"Go to bed, Rosie." James grumbled, turning and leaving.

I quickly got up and climbed out the window after he was gone. Then I turned and leaned into the house.

"I love you."

"I love you too." she whispered and she kissed me for a while before I scampered off into the darkness.

* * *

I woke up to see hazel eyes on mine.

"Are you staring at me?" I laughed.

"Yes. It's hard not to stare at you."

I laughed and kissed the tan nose that was so close to mine.

"I love you."

"I love you more." I whispered and got up to put on my shirt.

Logan was already up, sitting reading a book in his Snoopy pj pants, hockey t-shirt, and unmade hair that fell over his forehead. He turned and nodded as I sat next to him. I heard James wake Carlos up in his usual loud and violent way.

"What's for breakfast?" Carlos grumbled as he stumbled out of the room- James behind him.

"Whatever you make." Logan said simply.

"Lucky Charms it is." Carlos said, going to get bowls.

I felt hands on my head, whisking at my hair like a cat and yarn.

"Your hair's so messy."

I turned to see familiar pink lips smiling at me, a hazel eye winking.

"Hm- wonder why." Logan said smartly. "Not like we can't hear you guys."

"Hear that, Kenny? He says be louder."

I smiled and James took me in his arms, pressing my cheek to his chest.

"Can do, Logie. Can do." he laughed. Logan rolled his eyes and shivered, getting up to help Carlos with the cereal. James let go of my head to rub his nose with mine.

"C'mon! Get a room!" Carlos scowled, sliding bowls of cereal down the bar. James's eyes lit up and and he quickly let go of me to begin scarfing down his breakfast.

"Oh-" he said through mouthfuls. "Rosie's coming this afternoon. So I guess we gotta clean."

I felt my face drain of color and my heart stopped. ROSIE was coming to visit?

After moving to California, I thought our relationship was going strong. But soon we began drifting apart- I became too busy to talk to her, and if I did, it was a short conversation. It only took a month for me to break up with her- and it took me a long time to get over it. Only Logan knew why I was so bummed- Carlos just shrugged it off, thinking it was hormones or something, but James knew there was something genuinely wrong, so he tried to comfort me and cheer me up.

It didn't take long for me to start dating James. One month of being in Hollywood- break up with Rosie. One month getting over it and getting closer to James. Five months so far of being with him- and I couldn't have been happier. Sure- Logan and Carlos were a little creeped out about it, but they didn't mind much. The public was pretty supportive of it, so we had no problems.

"What?!" Logan asked, panicked. "Why wouldn't you say this before?! This place is a mess!"

James shrugged.

"Slipped my mind."

He turned to me, seeing my loss of color, and his brows turned up.

"You okay, Boo?"

I snapped out of my trance and nodded.

"Um- just trying to think about how she'll react to us." I halfway lied.

"She already knows, silly." James laughed. "She's my baby sister- I tell her everything."

All color I had regained immediately left. James looked more concerned.

"You don't look so good." he said. "Are you sick?"

"Maybe."

"My poor baby." James pouted, kissing my hair as he went to put our bowls in the sink.

"She's gonna get here at like three- so chop chop!" James said to everyone.

* * *

At about 2:50, James and Carlos left for the airport to get Rose. I sat, staring terrified at the floor, hugging my knees.

"It'll be fine, Kendall." Logan insisted. "She already knows about you two."

"But she hates me."

"You and I both know she doesn't HATE you."

"I broke up with her, even though I said I wouldn't."

"She understands. She's ROSE." Logan laughed, patting my shoulder. "They'll be back soon, so you better pick yourself up and be a big boy."

Finally, the door opened. Logan and I stood up and turned around to see James with a duffle bag in hand, Carlos telling a story, and finally Rose, who immediately caught my eyes, then dropped hers to the floor. James went to put her bag in Katie's old room (Katie and Mom had moved out a while ago- a responsibility test on our part) and I got a good look at Rose.

I looked her up and down, my eyes catching sight of something out of the ordinary.

"Check it- Rose is PREGGERS!" Carlos said excitedly, pointing to Rose's bulging stomach.


	2. Sickening Guilt

**So this is my new favorite story to write, so I'm a bunch of chapters ahead. I'll try to update more often til I'm caught up! So I got 3 reviews on the first chapter and some followers + favoriteers, which is good (for me at least) for a first chapter! Thanks! Keep it up! :DD**

I was a little bit pissed off all day. Sure- I wasn't with Rose anymore and I didn't want to be. But she told us she was SEVEN MONTHS pregnant. We were still together seven months before that day. She must have cheated on me.

"Who's the father of- this?" James asked. He was angry that someone knocked up his delicate sister, and I was still angry that she cheated, so we were both pissed without someone to comfort us.

"HIS name is Nathan James. After my LOVING older brother." Rose spat.

"Ooooh- that's a cute name." Carlos chimed.

The two went into a long conversation about the naming process, James's question dropped.

It was that night- I couldn't sleep, so I slipped from the bed, careful not to disturb James, and went to Katie's old room.

"Rose?" I whispered.

"Hm?" she grumbled.

"Can we talk?"

Rose got up and stumbled over to me- we went out and sat in the hallway.

"So I guess you have some questions." she said sleepily.

"Just a few. Like who you cheated on me with perhaps?"

"I didn't CHEAT, dip shit."

Confused, my brain refused to grasp what she was saying.

"Nathan is your son." she murmured, looking at the ground. I was silent.

"I know you're with my BROTHER now. And I know you're all famous and don't want to take care of a kid." she said. "And I don't expect you to. But I think it's something you need to know."

I was silent as I stared at her bulging stomach.

"But... As much as it scares the shit outta me, we need to tell James."

"No." I said strongly. "He'll break up with me. Kick me outta the apartment. Never talk to me again."

Rose was quiet for a long time, absently tracing circles on her stomach.

"But he's my brother. And he's been asking me who the father is all day... And I can't lie to him. It's important to build a family on good soil- not lies. And I know he'll be mad at you for a while. But... Kendall, you have this way about you. If it were anyone else but you who dumped me after going to California... I woulda been pissed. But I'm not mad. I think... James'll be pissed for a while, but he'll still love you." she finally said. "So can you please agree that we need to tell him so that I won't feel bad about it?"

"I don't want to."

"Well... I'm going to. No matter what you say."

I sighed and shook my head.

"Okay. I'll do it WITH you then. Tomorrow at lunch." I said.

Rose smiled and I got up, helping her to her feet.

"It's good to see that you're still sensible Kendall. Fame hasn't really changed you much." she said. "I'm happy to see you."

"Me too." I admitted.

* * *

I climbed into my bed beside James, who immediately rolled around and pulled me to him.

"Where'd you go?" he asked.

"Couldn't sleep- just went to watch some TV."

"What's bothering you?"

"Rose. I was thinking about- about who the father of the baby was." I said- which wasn't a lie.

"Me too." James said, sitting up and looking down at me. "I'll kill that bastard. I mean- who the hell knocks up a 17 year old girl? She's not even an adult."

Ice flowed through my stomach.

"Maybe he's not that bad."

"Kenny- don't even say that. Whoever it is... I'm gonna slit his throat. I swear I will." James growled. The color drained from my face as I touched his arm.

"I'm sorry." James sighed. "Your hand's cold."

"I- uh-"

James laid back down and held me to him.

"I'll keep you warm." he said sweetly, then pulled his head back to press his lips to my forehead. "I love you."

"I- I love you, too."

"You stuttered." he said, a little hurt.

"I'm just cold is all." I lied.

"I can tell- you're shaking. Are you coming down with something?"

He pulled the blankets tighter around us and bunched my hands together between our chests.

"I dunno." I said. I laid there awake for another hour after James drifted away- still trembling.

I already told Rose that we'd tell James tomorrow... But I was having second thoughts now. James said it doesn't matter who it is- he'll kill them. So maybe he won't kill ME, but he would obviously hate me. I thought about building a relationship on such a big lie... It can't be healthy...

* * *

We ate lunch the next day at a pizza place not far from the Palm Woods, planning to go laser tagging afterward. We had a huge wrap around booth- me on the end, then James, Logan, Camille, Carlos, and Rose across from James on the end. As we ate, Rose kept giving me looks until she finally rolled her eyes and called the group to attention.

"Guys, me and Kendall have something to say." she said bravely. Ice dropped into my stomach and I felt like I was gonna throw up. Rose gave me a look, expecting me to say something, but I didn't.

"Kendall is-"

"I'm gonna throw up-" I interrupted, jumping up from my seat and running to the bathroom. I barely made it to the toilet as I began spewing supreme pizza. I felt a hand patting my back and someone telling me to "let it all out" behind me.

Finally, I flushed the toilet and fell back against the wall weakly. James was squatting before me, wiping my mouth with toilet paper.

"You ARE sick." he said, brows turned up. "My poor baby. Let's go home and get you to bed."

He pulled me up and took me to the sink where he used a wet paper towel to dab my face. Soon Logan came in to see what was going on.

"He's got some kinda flu or something. I'm gonna take him home." James said.

"Nah- I'll take him. You stay here- you need to spend some time with Rose." Logan said. James gave me a worried look and I nodded. With that, he kissed my hair, told me to feel better and call him if I need anything, and left.

"You don't have the flu, do you?" Logan asked as we walked down the side walk.

"No." I sighed.

"You're the one that knocked up Rose, aren't you?"

"Yeah."

"And you don't want James to know."

"The whole throwing up thing wasn't planned. I was just really nervous."

"Understandable." Logan said.

"I don't want him to know cause he told me that he'd kill whoever the father was..."

"He wouldn't kill YOU, though. You're his 'Boo', remember?"

"Yeah, but he'd dump me- hard. And he'd either move out or kick me out. He'd hate me."

"But don't you think you SHOULD tell him? For Rose? That way you won't have to sneak around."

"I dunno, Logan. Tell me what to do."

"This is something that you need to figure out yourself." Logan sighed. "I really can't help with this one. All I can say is... Sure, if you tell him, you may not have James anymore. But everything'll be better for everyone."

It was then that I planned to tell James myself- one on one. He needed to hear it from me. I needed to take the consequences myself.

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	3. James Finds Out

Everyone was finally home that night- they had already eaten dinner and brought me and Logan home some Chinese. I didn't have much of an appetite- I was nervous. But I made myself promise that I would tell James what was going on ASAP.

"Feeling better?" James asked, sitting on my lap, back against my chest. He liked to do this to be playful, knowing he was bigger than me.

"Yeah, a whole lot. Must have been some kinda allergy or something." I said. "Hey- can we go out in the hall? I have to talk to you."

James got up and whirled around.

"That doesn't sound good." he said.

"C'mon." I said, standing. I took James's hand and lead him out to the hall.

"Are you breaking up with me?" James asked sadly.

"No!" I said. "Not as long as you don't break up with me."

"Why would I-?" James asked, confused, wrapping his arms around my waist.

"Jamie, six months before we moved here Rosie and I started dating." I said quickly.

"I didn't know that." James said, confused.

"I know. But that's not what I wanted to say."

"Okay..."

"The last night we were in Minnesota, I was at your house."

"No-"

"I was in Rose's room. And we- we-"

"Kenny-" James said in realization. "Did you- deflower my little sister?"

"That's not the news."

James, looking hurt, loosened his grip on me a little.

"I'm the father of her baby." I said quietly.

James, processing the info, let go of me and backed away.

"I'm sorry, Jamie." I said quietly.

"Sorry?" James asked. "SORRY?"

Suddenly his hands were on either side of my chest and shoved me against the wall.

"YOU KNOCKED UP MY SISTER AND YOU COME TO ME AND YOU ACT LIKE YOU FUCKING LOVE ME? NO!" James yelled, a forearm holding me against the wall.

"JAMIE! NO!" I begged, scared for my life.

James's fist pulled back, and just then, the door of 2J opened.

"JAMES DYLAN DIAMOND YOU LET HIM GO!" Rose screamed, leaping forward. "Don't hurt him!"

James's firey eyes turned to his little sister and his arm pushed hard on my chest, then let go. He stormed into the apartment. I quickly followed him and came in just in time to see him turn, eyes on me.

"YOU BASTARD!" he yelled, then suddenly his fist came back and smashed into the wall beside me. Rose rushed to him, pushing him.

"CALM THE FUCK DOWN, JAMES." she said dangerously. His eyes angrily turned from me to her.

"What're you gonna do? You gonna punch me? Do it." Rose challenged, pushing James again.

He whirled around and stormed away, picking up a vase from the shelf and flinging it across the room, shattering it against the wall, making Carlos jump and whimper. James went into his and Carlos's bedroom and slammed the door shut, making a painting fall.

Rose turned to me, eyes concerned, scanning over me.

"Did he hurt you?" she asked, hazel eyes filled with tears. I swallowed, speechless, and shook my head. She shook her own head and swiped away her tears, storming away to her own room, but not closing the door.

Okay- so I had to choose.

Go risk getting killed by trying to comfort James? Or go and talk to Rose and give her a hug, risking James coming in and getting the wrong idea? Hm...

"Look- you get Rose. Me 'n Los'll go after James." Logan said. I nodded and went to Katie's room to sit next to Rose on the bed.

"So you told him." she said simply, sniffling.

"Was that wrong?"

"No. I'm glad he knows." she said, looking up at me. "I just- what if he HAD hit you?"

"So what? I can take a punch." I shrugged.

"I'm sorry if he breaks up with you. Really, I am." she said. Just then, it hit me that this scenario was probably going to happen. I was silent.

"Nathan's kicking." she sniffled, a hand on her stomach. "He senses the excitement."

Suddenly, she took my hand and pressed it to her stomach, where I felt tiny bumps against her skin.

"You know, I always imagined that when this-" she gestured to my hand, "happened, it wouldn't be so wrong."

"It's not wrong. It's a father feeling his child kick inside its womb." I said.

"I'm gonna talk to James." she said, standing.

"Now?" I asked.

"He's not gonna hurt ME. I'm not scared of him." she said.

"Don't go. I'm going." I said, standing. She gave me a concerned look. "If I get hit, I get hit."

I exited the room and made my way to James's room.

"C'mon! You're being dumb!" Logan called, banging on the door. Carlos spotted me and gave up his spot at the door knob.

"Good luck- won't even talk to us." he said.

"JAMIE! COME ON! LET ME IN!" I called as I banged on the door.

Suddenly, the door cracked and a set of hazel eyes were boring into me.

"Kendall, I need you to go the fuck away." he said dangerously. "Please."

I looked solemnly up at him.

"I'm sorry." I said quietly. "And- and all you gotta say is 'it's over'."

James's eyes dropped.

"I can't." he said quietly, then stepped back and shut the door.

"The worst is over." Rose said to me, touching the middle of my back. "He goes through stages, you know."

I did know. First was blinding rage- a stage that causes James to break things and hurt people. Then he shuts himself away to think things over- and he usually always makes a decision on what to do, but this stage lasts about a day. Then he tries to make things right. Then he starts apologizing to everyone. Even people who weren't hurt or even there to witness it. He starts punishing himself then- no cheeseburgers or no ice cream for X amount of he's over it- forgetting everything within a week. But I had a feeling he wouldn't forget this.

"Guess we wait til he comes out." I sighed, plopping down on the couch. "In a day or so."

"You know, I think you did the right thing." Carlos said thoughtfully, sitting with Logan on the floor- Rose beside me. "Sure- you'll probably lose James's love FOREVER, and sure, he's gonna probably hate you forever-" Logan elbowed him hard, making him wince. "BUT I think- what if you NEVER told James? You wouldn't be able to like- be the first to hold the baby or take care of him. And when James DID find out- then what? He'd be PISSED."

"You know, Carlos is right." Logan said matter-of-factly. "It's weird, but he's right."

"I know he is." I sighed, getting up. "I'mma take a walk. Whoever wants to come- whatever."

At first I didn't think anyone was going to come with me- which was a bummer because I wanted to talk with someone. I was halfway to the elevator when I heard the door open and close and Rose came hobbling toward me.

"My back hurts- I figured a walk might help." she said.

"You know, I think it would be more logical if the man carried the baby. I mean, we're stronger. We have tougher skin. We can take pain-"

"But you would do something stupid and the baby would turn out deformed." she laughed. "Plus- that would be weird. A pregnant guy."

"But it wouldn't be weird, cause that would be the norm." I said as we boarded the elevator.

"Where're we going?" Rose asked as we exited the Palm Woods.

"I dunno." I shrugged.

"Kendall? Are you- are you gonna be there for Nathan?" Rose suddenly asked, hazel eyes solemn.

"Of course." I said. "I couldn't leave you alone with a child."

"How're you gonna juggle me, Nathan, AND James?"

"I don't think I'll have to juggle James anymore." I said quietly.

"I wouldn't be so sure." she said simply.

"Well, I guess you'll have to move up here. Or I'll have to move back to Minnesota."

"No, no, no. You've got too much going on here. I'm gonna move here- I've actually already found an apartment. It's just a matter of money-"

"I'll pay for it. And Nathan's stuff and your food and everything. I've got loads of money and nothing to use it on." I said quickly. Rose smiled bashfully at me and shook her head.

"I couldn't ask you to do that."

"You're not asking me. You don't have to. It's my responsibility as a father." I said. "And- and James'll hate me soon, so I'll move into your apartment building so I can be close by."

"You know... Most guys would flip out. If this happened to them. They'd want nothing to do with the baby OR the mother."

"Well... It'd be different if you weren't James's sister and if I didn't love you so much at one point." I admitted. "But given the circumstances, I don't even have to consider other options. I think even if you weren't related to the man I love and if you were just some one-night-stand, I'd still give you money or something. For being an asshole and knocking you up."

"You know, I don't look at this is 'Oh, my bastard ex-boyfriend impregnated me! Bleh!' I look at it as... Well, I'm gonna have a pretty little blonde baby with caramelly green eyes soon. And his father, even if we aren't in love anymore, is gonna be a parent with me and I'm not alone in this." she said. "I'm excited to have a baby- even if I'm not even an adult yet. And there's nobody else that I'd rather do it with. I know it sounds cheesy, but it's true. Cause you're so caring and gentle and grounded- and I know that when I'm dead tired and don't have the energy to get up at 3 am to attend to the baby, you'll be there. Well... Maybe not THERE, but I could call you. And you'd take care of it. And I could trust you to babysit and not be worried about if you're partying with your friends as our child is in a stroller in the back."

"I'm glad."

"And Kendall, even if it doesn't mean the same as last time I said it, I love you. Like- kinda like a mixture between love for a best friend, love for an ex you never quite got over, love for the father of your child, and love for a brother all at the same time."

"Well then... I love you, too."

"Not more?" she smiled.

"That phrase is saved for special cases."

"I know." she smiled. "You know, I'm glad we talked about this."

We turned and began walking back to the Palm Woods.

"Me, too."

"Nathan's kicking." she said, touching her stomach. "He was never this active before. I guess he knows who you are."

She smiled up at me, eyes glowing, then turned back to the sidewalk.

**Thanks for all your reviews, guys. :) They make me happy.**

**Keep it up!**


	4. Beach Day

It took much longer than expected for James to come out. Only Carlos was aloud in his room, to get clothes and give James food and stuff, but he didn't want anyone else in there.

He didn't even stir until Wednesday- Rose's last day. It was torture for me to wait on him. I wanted him to break up with me already- like tearing off a band-aid

"Jamie? Can I talk to you?" Rose called, tapping on the door. The door opened and James stood there in flannel pj pants and no shirt- a dark beard of stubble around his lips, his long hair messy.

"Hm?" he grunted, not looking miserable, but not smiling either. Rose's eyes jumped up in surprise.

"I- I put in a deposit for an apartment. Well... I mean Kendall did." she said, looking back at me, then to him. James's eyes jumped to me, too, then back down to his sister. "And I can move in anytime- Kendall's gonna come with me to Minnesota to help me pack my stuff."

"HELP you? You can't pack stuff- you'll pop out a baby." he said indifferently. "No- we'll all go."

"What about work?" she asked him.

"Gustavo can't do much without Kendall, so we'll all take another week off." James shrugged. "It's no biggy."

"Will you come out and go to the beach with us?" she asked. "Please?"

James's eyes raised to mine, kept hold for a while, then he looked down and sighed.

"Give me half an hour." he said, then went to close the door.

* * *

James kept avoiding me- every time we met eyes he would flicker his away, every time we were forced to walk close, he wouldn't even look at me.

"He hates me." I groaned to Logan on the beach. Rose was soaking up the sun in her maternity dress and Logan was reading beneath the umbrella with me. "Logan- he's IGNORING me."

"You gotta understand- this isn't something that is easy to accept." Logan said, putting down his book. His dark eyes were wise and knowledgeable. "He's having a hard time- look, he's not even surfing."

I looked into the water to see James just laying on his board, bobbing in the waves. Carlos was surfing like crazy, but James was just gazing at the sky.

"I'm getting sick of it. I wish he'd just dump me already." I sighed. "I mean- if he's gonna."

"Then tell him." Rose said, sitting up with difficulty. Suddenly she let out a great groan.

"What? Did your water break?" I asked immediately. Logan and Rose both laughed.

"No- my back just hurts SO bad." Rose explained. It didn't take long for Logan to get up and begin rubbing Rose's shoulders and back, making her moan in ecstasy. Suddenly, James walked up from the water.

"Fantastic. Guess NOBODY can keep their hands off of my sister." he said smartly.

"Fuck off, James. You're ruining everyone's day." Rose said in a way that he knew she wasn't serious.

"Look, everyone. I'm SORRY, okay?" James sighed, taking a drink from his water bottle. Carlos came up behind him and did the same.

"Yeah, good. You almost KILLED me with a vase." he grumped.

"Not the only one I almost killed." James said regretfully. "Anyways, I'm sorry that I threw a tantrum."

I got up, dusted off my butt, and made my way down the beach- thinking his speech was done.

I walked for about five minutes down the beach when suddenly I heard running steps behind me. I didn't think much of it, believing it was just a jogger, until suddenly there was a hand on my shoulder.

"Kenny-"

"I don't think you can call me that anymore." I said, whirling around, trying not to seem angry as much as matter of fact.

"And why not?" James asked, surprised.

"Cause- cause I'm not yours anymore, APPARENTLY."

"Who said that?"

"Well you've been IGNORING me for days." I grumbled.

"Just cause I'm adjusting." he said, sitting down in the sand and looking out at the waves. I sat next to him. "It's not easy to accept that your boyfriend is the father of your soon-to-be nephew. It's not easy to accept that the man you love is forever linked with your baby sister. It's not easy to look this man in the eyes when you know what he's done to your sister."

"If I could change it, I would." I, ashamed.

"Don't say that." he said gently. "In a few months you'll have a SON. And you'll love him to death and he'll be your favorite Diamond over even me. And I don't want you to EVER regret him. Ever. Cause he's gonna be great."

"Think so?"

"Yeah. Cause he'll be BEAUTIFUL. And smart. And he's gonna grow up to act just like you, so he'll be absolutely perfect." he said, staring into the horizon, then he finally looked at me, hazel eyes searching mine. "But Kenny, I don't want you to think that I have complete control. You're gonna have a BABY really soon. And- and if you want to drop me so that you can devote all your time to him, I'd understand. Really."

"No way. Jamie, I've never loved the way I love you. And I think we can make it through this together." I smiled. James smiled back and stood up, dusting off his butt and helping me up.

"I love you." I offered, still sensing tension.

"I love you, too." he said, eyes genuine, but he didn't smile. I got on my toes the tiniest bit to kiss him, but he didn't really kiss back.

"You're still pissed." I said, heart dropping.

"I'm not pissed. I'm still adjusting." he said, then smiled a little. "Give me some time."

* * *

We spent all day on the beach, but Rose just sat there on the towel in her maternity dress, completely content. James was surfing- I could see that he was slowly coming back to his old self.

It wasn't until 9 that we got back to our apartment.

"Rose, do you have ANY baby stuff? Like at ALL?" Carlos asked suddenly. Rose thought for a second and shook her head.

"I don't." she said in realization.

"I smell online shopping." James sang.

"I don't have the money for online shopping. I'll have to just-"

"You're not JUST anything." I said. "I told you- I'm gonna pay for everything."

"I don't think you have THAT much."

"Rose- we're famous. We get paid like- tens of thousands of dollars a month- and that's when there's NOT an album out. He's bought a car. That's it." Logan said bluntly. "He's got money."

Rose smiled and nudged me with her shoulder.

"You know... I'll pay you back. Once I get a job." she said gently.

"Rose- this is my baby, too. You really, really, REALLY don't have to pay me back. Besides- I've got James. We've got twice the crazy riches- I need to get rid of it. And what better way to spend it?" I smiled. "Really. Don't even worry about it."

She bought everything she needed for a nursery at her apartment, then I bought stuff for our apartment, too. I decided to propose moving to her apartment complex once James was back to normal with me again.

We had everything shipped to 2J and expected a crapload of boxes of cribs and dressers and toys and clothes to arrive next week.

I found myself thinking for the first time about Nathan. He was due in just over a month... I wondered what he would look like. Would he be serious or silly? Would he grow closer to me or Rose? Would he cry a lot? What would his favorite food be? What about his first words? His first steps?

Everyone had gone to bed, but I decided to clean up a little before I did. After that, I went into Rose's room, where she was sitting on the bed, back against the headboard, trying to paint her toenails.

"Knock knock." I said, entering the room although the door was open.

"So I need help." she laughed. She held the bottle of nail polish out for me and I laughed and took it.

"Sorry if it sucks." I said as I began painting the remainder of her toes yellow. "You know... I was thinking about Nathan. And I realize... I don't know if I'm ready for him to come out."

I saw the sadness on her face and quickly corrected myself.

"What I mean is that I haven't had enough time to think about him. I'm not prepared mentally to be a father yet."

"Well, you better get in gear, Buster. He's ripe." she smiled.

"Think he'll have my eyes or yours?" I asked. She thought about this a second and shrugged. "I hope he gets yours. I mean, your eye color is one of a kind. But mine- it's like EXACTLY like James's. That's boring."

"I think they're pretty." I said. "For the past year I've been in love with SOMEONE with eyes that color."

She giggled and watched as I finished her toes and capped the bottle.

"You're good at that." she said, admiring my work. I smiled.

"So are you ready for the long day that IS tomorrow?" she asked me.

We were planning on catching the 6 am flight to Minnesota, getting Rose's things from her mom's house, shipping them to LA the next day, then flying back.

"Needs to be done." I shrugged. "It won't be so bad- you don't have too much stuff."

"I think Kendall's a Daddy's Boy." she said after a second. "Cause every time you're around he kicks. Maybe he knows your voice already."

I smiled and put a hand on her stomach and felt the tiny bumps for a while, then snapped out of it.

"I guess I should get some sleep." I said, getting up. "You should, too."

"Okay. Night." she smiled.

"Night." I turned out the lights like she told me and left.

"What took you so long?" James grumbled as he heard me come in to change my clothes. I figured since James was in my bed, he was okay enough to sleep with me.

"I was talking to Rose. It's okay." I whispered and climbed beneath the blankets. James immediately draped an arm over my side, I put mine over his, and I fell right to sleep.

**Review! :)**


	5. Nathan James

It didn't take long to pack up all of Rose's stuff. She basically just had clothes and knick knacks, so it only took a few hours to box everything up. We stayed the night at the now vacant Diamond house (Brooke occasionally came to visit he kids, but she would probably just sell the place now.)

We moved everything into Rose's apartment as soon as it arrived. We put together her bed and dressers and put a TV she had in the living room on the floor, which awaited a couch or any other furniture.

"Call us anytime." James said before we left. "Seriously- you want a mango with peanut butter? I'll get it at 4 in the morning."

Rose laughed and hugged her brother around the waist as best she could.

"We'll be close pretty soon." I smiled at James. We had found an apartment a floor above Rose's, but it was still close. The managers were still inspecting it and getting ready, but James and I were already packing.

"You're sure you're okay to be alone?" Logan asked, unsure.

"Sure." she shrugged. "I've still got a few weeks before you need to worry."

"He could come early." Carlos reminded her.

"I'm FINE, guys. I'll call you if I have any problems." she smiled before we left

* * *

I hadn't even come close to draining out my bank account. Even after buying Rose furniture and food, plus putting in a four-month deposit on our apartment and buying furniture for that, I still had plenty of money plus another pay check coming soon.

Rose was pretty much settled into her new home now. Even the nursery was ready. James and I had moved into our apartment and just barely had all the furniture in there and our own nursery set up, but not decorated. Logan and Carlos were enjoying huge apartment 2J to themselves- including their own rooms, flatscreen TV's, a stocked kitchen, etc.

The paparazzi didn't know much about what was going on other than what we told them. The random pregnant chick that has been hanging around us lately was James's little sister- obviously. She moved to L.A. because James was really her only family and she didn't want to be alone when the baby comes. Sure- we'd tell our fans eventually, because we owe it to them.

We were reluctant to go to the studio lately. It was April- Nathan's due date month- and didn't want to be away for too long- in case he decided to come out while we were gone. She assured us she would call us if anything happened.

It was a Friday night- April 26th. James called to me from the kitchen where he was cleaning up from dinner.

My phone rang and I answered it- Rose.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Hey- I need you here. Now." came Rose's panicked voice. "It's happening, Kendall. HURRY."

I jumped up and told her we were on our way.

"Jamie!" I called. "It's happening!"

James ended up going down to get the car while I rushed up to help Rose downstairs. I walked right in.

"ROSE?" I called.

"In here!" Rose called from her bedroom. I zoomed into her room where she was sitting on the bed.

"It hurts." she said, brows upturned.

"Shoes." I said briskly, searching the room, finally finding flip flops and putting them on her feet.

"The bag." she reminded me. I rushed to the nursery to get the bag prepared for this occasion, then came back to loop an arm around Rose's waist and gently lift her to her feet.

"Oh GOD, it hurts." Rose said miserably, slowly hobbling along with me.

"I know, Rose." I said. "We're gonna go to the hospital and get you some drugs."

"Where's Jamie?" she asked in a panic.

"He's downstairs waiting with the car." I said, opening the door and closing it behind us.

We finally got downstairs and I sat with Rose in the back seat.

"Jamie- it hurts. Like- EVERYTHING." she said.

"That's childbirth, Rose." he said, zooming out of the parking lot. He called Carlos previously to get him and Logan to the hospital.

"Kendall, fix it." she said, hazel eyes tearful. Then her head fell back and she waled in pain from a contraction.

"I can't." I said, eyes wide. "I'm sorry."

We got to the hospital and were taken into a room. Rose was hooked up to a heart monitor and such and given some pain meds. Although it took the tears away, it made her extremely loopy and giggly.

"Kenny?" she said childishly, jerking my hand so that I would come closer to her in the bed. "I'm SO glad you're here. And I'm so glad that Nathan's gonna be in such a lovey environment. Cause you love me, I love you, we both love James, James loves us both, Logan and Carlos are gonna love Nathan, me and you and James are gonna love Nathan."

"Yeah- I guess it is a great environment for a baby." I laughed, sitting with her.

"Fuck yeah, it is." she giggled. "Oh- I mean freak yeah. Young ears in the room." she patted her stomach.

"Rosie, do you need anything? Water?" James asked, sitting on the bed, facing us.

"I need this baby outta me. But other than that, I'm good." she laughed. Suddenly Logan and Carlos rushed into the room.

"YAAAY! LOGAN AND CARLOS ARE HERE! Guys, I've been waiting for you guys forEVER." she squealed. Logan's brows shot up and Carlos just laughed uncontrollably before taking a seat against the wall.

It took two hours of enduring Rose's loopiness- she kissed me right on the lips a few times. James just laughed and shook his head, knowing it meant nothing. Finally the doctor, surrounded by nurses, informed us that the baby was crowning.

"PUSH!" the doctor instructed.

"Yeah, Jamie. PUSH!" Rose giggled. She had her sweaty hands in mine and James's.

"Push, Rose!" James said gently, but assertively.

She laughed and I assumed she pushed.

"This is so weird- it's like I'm pushing, but I can't FEEL it!" Rose said in wonderment.

Finally, after half an hour of assuring Rose that the baby was almost out, we heard crying.

"It's a boy!" the doctor announced, wiping off a bloody mass in his hand. The baby was so small- able to fit in one hand. He was bloody at the time and I was able to cut the chord between him and Rose. Then he was rushed away, leaving us.

"Kenny!" Rose said, pulling me to her. "Is he pretty?"

"Course he's pretty." I answered, heart fluttering. "He's perfect."

A while later, a bundle in a blue blanket was handed to me- they were afraid that Rose wasn't quite lucid enough yet. Everyone gathered around me as I stared down at my son- his face was pink and plump, his eyes shut tight, his hair a wet blonde.

Everyone was silent as we stared at him.

We were given paperwork for a birth certificate as James held Nathan- awe in his eyes.

"Put Nathan. N-A-T-H-A-N. James. J-A-"

"I know how to spell James." I laughed, writing.

"M-E-S. Knight. K-N-I-G-H-T." she finished.

"I thought he would be a Diamond." I said, confused.

"Course not. You're his daddy, he's a Knight." she said, cheek on my shoulder. She looked up at me. "Is that okay?"

I grinned.

"Of course."

I wrote down the name, mine and Rosie's info, and everything else.

Finally Nathan was taken away to the nursery, Logan and Carlos went home, and James and I stayed at the hospital.

**So I'm sorry I got lazy at the birth scene. I just don't know much about it and hate birth scenes (writing them) so I didn't go into it too much.**

**Please review! :D**

**I need ideas for the godparents. Obviously James is one, but I need another. Then maybe like a plan B if that's needed. Thinking Logan and Camille or maybe Mrs. Knight.**

**Lemme know what you think! :)**


	6. Paparazzi

Nathan's first day home was a very complicated one. Everyone was at Rose's apartment- Logan, Camille, Carlos, James, and me.

He could fit in one of my hands, which I loved. His hair was lighter than mine, his eyes a perfect color- my caramelly green. He was a heavy sleeper- didn't wake up to loud noises or even when someone entered the room. He liked to hold people's fingers when they held him.

Rose was happy as could be. She taught me and James how to change a diaper, which disgusted me, but James didn't mind it.

Logan liked Nathan a lot- I could tell he would be a good father. Carlos wasn't allowed to hold the baby too much until he was less fragile, but I knew that once Nathan could play and interact, they would be best friends. Camille was naturally good with the child.

* * *

Carlos had convinced James to go with him to the Palm Woods to hang out- Logan went with Camille to her parents'. It was just me, Rose, and Nathan and we were going to pick up some take-out, walking. The restaurant was walking distance, so I carried Nathan's baby carrier- which was covered to protect him from the sun- with Rose at my side.

We didn't even make it to the restaurant when a sea of camera flashes and women with microphones bombarded us.

"Kendall! Kendall! Are you and James's sister having an affair?"

"Is this YOUR child?"

"How does James feel about all this?"

"Where IS James?"

"Who is the TRUE father of this child?"

I switched Nathan's carrier to the other arm to be between Rose and I. I had caught a cameraman trying to peek beneath the blanket.

"Let us see him!"

"When was he born?"

"Where are you two going?"

I put the carrier in Rose's hand and opened the door for her to go into the restaurant, deciding to answer the paparazzi's questions. I was afraid that Nathan had woken up and would begin crying soon.

"Is the child YOURS?" one woman asked, shoving a mic in my face.

"Yes." I said gruffly.

"Does James know he is your child?"

"Yes."

"Are you still with James?"

"YES!"

"Are you having an affair with his sister?"

"No- I'm just trying to be a good dad is all."

"What is his name?"

"His name is Nathan James Knight." I answered.

"After James Diamond?"

"He IS my boyfriend and Rose's brother..."

"How are the Rushers reacting to this?"

"They don't know yet."

"How do you THINK they'll react?"

"I HOPE they'll be supportive." I said, opening the door and waving as I went in.

"I'm really sorry about that." I sighed and Rose whirled around, stuffed the food in my hand, picked up Nathan's carrier, and briskly walked away- out the door.

There were some lingering men with cameras who immediately attacked her.

"How has your relationship with your brother been affected by all this?"

"Are you in love with Kendall?"

"What-"

"Look, paparazzi dudes." Rose fumed. "I don't want you anywhere near Nathan until he's older. He's still a newborn and you'll BLIND him with all the flashes. I don't care about pictures of me. Don't care about pictures of anyone else. But leave my son alone for a few months, kay?"

With that, she pushed through the few men and stormed down the street. I ran after her.

"Rose!" I called. She stopped and turned, hazel eyes ablaze.

"You better hope to God that he didn't wake up." she growled. I bent down, lifted up the blanket, and saw Nathan- sound asleep.

"He's fine." I said, replacing the blanket and standing up straight. "Are YOU?"

"I don't want it to be this way, Kendall." she sighed, looking over to see the cameramen taking pictures of us. "It's not a healthy environment."

"I'm sorry. There's nothing I can do about it." I explained, taking the heavy carrier from Rose.

"You could do what Johnny Depp did and not let them take pictures." Rose said. "I don't think they're gonna listen to me."

"I would, Rose. But... I think it's important that the Rushers keep updated."

"Always with the Rushers." Rose scowled, crossing her arms.

"If you REALLY want me to, I will." I gave in. She stared at the ground and shook her head.

"It's fine. The cameras are part of your life- there's no escaping." she said. "And now I'm gonna be in a magazine, made out to be a horrible person for yelling at Kendall Knight AND making him carry everything."

"But I took this stuff from you."

"Not what it looks like." she sighed, gesturing to the cameras. She took the bag of food from me and began walking.

* * *

"Look at you, Nate. Just LOOK." I said in a baby voice. I was sitting on the couch, Nathan laying on my knees. I was tickling his stomach.

"You're gonna be a HANDSOME man someday." I sang, touching his nose. He was really little and his eyes were swollen shut most of the time, but beneath his lids were the most perfect eyes.

He stared at me blankly- no reaction whatsoever. I guess I shouldn't expect much, since he's still a newborn.

"I think there's something wrong." Rose said beside me. "With him."

"No way."

"No child sleeps through a paparazzi attack like he does. And he just stares at us. Even when we talk to him, he doesn't look at us when we are... It's weird."

"I think they're all like that." I said.

"Maybe it's autism. Kendall, do you think he has autism?" Rose asked in a panic.

"No." I said. "But even if he did, we'd still love him forever. He'd still be our child."

"I guess." she said.

"But there's nothing wrong. He's a normal, healthy baby. He's got all the right PARTS in all the right places." I shrugged. "He's fine."

Suddenly, my phone rang. It was Carlos.

"Yo, bro. I'm kidnapping your boyfriend for the night. Gonna get SHITFACED!" Carlos giggled.

"He's totally kidding." James called from the background.

"Yeah, I'm kidding. We're gonna go to a concert." Carlos said. I loved concerts, but didn't want to intrude on James and Carlos's alone time. Sometimes I think that THEY'RE destined to be together. Lately they haven't had much time to be dumb together because of Nathan.

"Is he sleeping with you?" I asked, watching Nathan's eyes droop.

"Well, if you WANT him to. I'm cool with it- I'm into spooning."

"Carlos! Is he sleeping in your apartment."

"Oh- yeah. Slumber party all the way." Carlos said simply.

"Kay." I said.

"James says he loves you. And I do, too. I love you, Kendall." Carlos joked.

"Love you, too, Los." I laughed, rolling my eyes. I hung up the phone to see Rose walking away with the baby in her arms. I didn't even notice her take him.

Right when Nathan's head hit the pillow, he woke up and started screaming. Roses's eyes got wide as she picked him up again.

We tried for half an hour to get him to stop crying. We tried feeding him, changing him, and I even sang a song. He just kept crying.

"The bear." Rose said simply. "Where the HELL is the bear?"

She was referring to a little purple teddy bear that Nathan had immediately taken a liking to.

"It's in my apartment."

"Let's go." she said, walking away, then out the door without shoes on.

* * *

"Finally." I sighed in relief as Nathan fell asleep in the crib in my apartment with the bear's paw in his hand.

"He didn't even calm down when you SANG." Rose said, brows upturned. I shushed her and ushered her out of the room, turned out the lights and shut the door. By the time I was out, she was gone.

"Rose?" I called.

"In here!" she called back. I found her laying in Jame's side of the bed.

"What're you doing?" I asked, then suddenly I was startled to see that she was crying.

"Nothin'." she sniffled. I went to the bed and plopped down beside her, head propped on my elbow.

"What's up?" I asked, brushing a tear from her face. She sighed and rolled over to face me.

"Who ever heard of a baby that didn't stop crying when Kendall Knight sang to it?" she sniffled. "It's not right."

"This again?"

"We should get him checked out."

"No way." I said. "He's still way young- you don't know that there's anything wrong."

"If he doesn't stop being weird in the next few months..."

"Then we'll get him checked out. But I don't think there's anything wrong."

With this, I laid down, still facing her.

"You're probably right." she sniffled.

"Of course I am." I laughed, pulling her to me. It felt like old times- laying with her in my arms.

I didn't plan on sleeping there with her. Until I fell asleep there.

**I know, I know. Not a good one. It took me forever to figure out what to even do for this chapter- I only knew where I wanted it to end. **

**Review?**


	7. News

"It say that at three month, babies should be making sounds. And reacting to familiar voices and music. And laughing. And waking up when someone opens the door." Rosie said, staring at her laptop, then turning to me.

"He doesn't do any of that- except occasionally making a noise." Carlos noted, tickling Nathan's feet as the baby laid on the floor. We were all, except Logan and Camille, at mine and James's apartment- Nathan was obviously a little more than 3 months old.

"Kendall- you promised." Rosie said, brows upturned.

"I'm still not convinced." I said stubbornly. I honestly didn't think there was anything wrong- he was just shy.

"Jamie- tell him." Rosie pouted. "He PROMISED that if Nathan didn't stop acting weird, we'd take him to get checked out."

"I hate to say it... But he is a little weird." James said, looking at me. "And... Even if you don't WANT there to be something up with him, it could be something serious."

I sighed and shook my head.

"FINE." I said. "Just make an appointment.

* * *

The next week me and Rosie and James took Nathan to the doctor.

"He doesn't make mature sounds- just occasional grunts. He doesn't react to sounds. He doesn't laugh." Rosie said as the doctor checked Nathan over. "Well, he smiles and stuff- but he NEVER laughs out loud."

The man turned, looked at Rosie, then me.

"You're the father?" he asked me.

"Yes."

"I could tell. He looks just like you." he smiled. "And who's this?" he gestured to James.

"My brother- his boyfriend- Nathan's uncle." Rosie said.

"Complex family." the doctor noted, then winked. "Anyway, he's showing classical signs of one of two things. Autism and deafness."

Rosie elbowed me hard in the ribs.

"We'll have to do some screening." the doctor said. "Some hearing screening, some classical interactions, etc. It shouldn't take too long."

The first test, we were taken into a big room. A different doctor did some stimulus things- trying to get Nathan's eyes to follow something, getting him to grip things, having him play with toys, making him do cause and effect things, etc. The only thing he DIDN'T do good at is looking at the cause of a noise.

Next, we went to another room where Nathan was laid on a table. Something was put in his ear and we had to leave the room. Then after that test, they put some things on his head and another thing in his ear.

After all this was done, we were told to wait in the examination room for a while as they looked over the results.

Nathan was asleep in his carrier on the floor, Rosie, then me, then James sitting on the examination counter. I was worried sick- what were they gonna tell us? It seemed that they were certain that there was something up... But what? What type of treatment would he need? Would he live? Is it fatal?

James could sense my distress and took my hand in his. Not finger laced with finger- but a comforting palm to palm, fingers wrapped around my hand.

"It'll be okay." he said, kissing my hair. "No matter what they tell us- he'll be fine."

I looked up solemnly at him and sighed, leaning my head on the wall behind us.

I glanced over at Rosie, who was hugging her knees, staring at the floor. I pulled her closer with one arm and rubbed her back gently with the palm of my hand. Her hazel eyes turned to me and her pink lips curled up a little before dropping.

"What if he's got some deadly disease?" she asked quietly. "He's just a baby."

"Don't think about that." I said.

"I can't help it." she said.

Finally the doctor came in with a clipboard.

"Good news or bad first?" he asked, plopping down in his swivel chair. We all shrugged indifferently.

"Good news is he's perfectly healthy and his brain works great." he smiled. I felt Rosie relax a little. "Bad news is that he can't hear a thing."

"What?" James asked, dumbstruck.

"He was born with it- looks like a genetic thing."

"But no one in either of our families are deaf." Rose said.

"It's just a play of genes- possibly a mutation." the doctor said. "Anyway, he has perfectly developed eardrums, they simply don't work."

"Well fix it." I said defensively. "Money's not an issue- just fix it."

"Mister Knight, the only way we can fix it is through surgery. And right now he's still much too young for surgery- it could be fatal. We'll have to wait until he's AT LEAST 6 years old. Even then, it'll be dangerous. It'll always be dangerous. There's always going to be a chance of him getting an infection or the surgery not working."

I was silent.

"So what do we do?" Rose asked finally.

"You cope with having a deaf child. Get him toys that stimulate the senses he DOES have. Get him toys that light up or vibrate or move- it'll keep his mind active. And you may learn a little sign language. Teach him a few important words, like hungry. It's much easier for infants to grasp onto sign language than to speaking words." the doctor said. "He'll catch on quick."

* * *

James drove us home- me and Rose and Nathan in the back seat.

"It won't be so bad." James said encouragingly.

"He'll never sing." I said absently.

"You don't know." Rosie said.

"He'll never laugh."

"Kendall!"

"Never hear the sound of our voices."

"Kendall- stop it! The doctor said it's fixable- we just have to wait a few years." Rosie scowled.

"But do we WANT to risk that? The doctor said he could get an infection- which is dangerous." I sighed.

"I- I don't know. But I DO know that Nathan needs us to be there for him. Sure- he doesn't KNOW that he's deaf. He doesn't understand what it means. But it's our job as his parents to teach him the ropes of life- to protect him from harm. And I dunno about you, but that's my plan." Rosie said harshly. "I'm just glad it's not something crazy fatal like cancer or something."

"Yeah- me, too." James said as we pulling into our apartment complex.

"I guess." I said indifferently. "But I don't get why this happened. You didn't smoke or drink or anything when you were pregnant."

"He SAID it's genetic." Rose said, getting out of the car and reaching for the car seat/carrier. I swatted her hand away and carried Nathan inside.

* * *

That night, EVERYONE was over. James was on the floor, playing with Nathan.

"Check this out, Nate! It's all- lighty uppy and stuff." he said, squeezing a baby ball, making it light up. Nathan smiled and reached for it.

"Jamie, you KNOW he can't hear you." I grumbled. Everyone continued baby talking to Nathan although they knew of his condition and it drove me crazy.

"You're a butt." James said, turning to stick his tongue out at me. "And check it- he'd TOTALLY be laughing if he could. I think he has his own version of a laugh- like, his chest moves up and down like he is, but nothing comes out."

I shrugged indifferently and Rose scooted close to me, putting her head on my shoulder. I sighed and rested my own head on hers.

"Yo, bro." James said, jumping up- Logan taking his place. "Back up off mah man."

With that, James bent down, took hold of my hips, and pulled me up into a hug, nipping my ear.

"Jamie-" I said irritably, trying to duck away. He just constrained me with a rib crushing hug.

"I never get to love you anymore. I think you love Rosie more than me sometimes." he pouted, pulling back a little to set his eyes to mine.

"We're secretly in love. You figured it out." I said sarcastically without smiling.

"Don't be a shitface." James scowled. Everyone had given up the whole 'don't cuss in front of the baby' act- obviously.

"It's who I am, Jamie. My face is shit." I said indifferently.

"I know what'll make you feel better." James smiled, kissing me. It was strange- I hadn't kissed James in a while. "But I can't say it cause my baby sister's here."

"Okay, gross." Rosie said, standing up and bending to scoop up Nathan. "My son is NOT gonna be present for this."

"C'mon, Rose. He's kidding." I said defensively. James's grip on me loosened a little.

"I am?" he asked innocently. "I didn't THINK I was..."

"I gotta go put Nate to bed." I said, kissing him quickly a few times in a row before wriggling out of his grasp, taking my son from Rosie, and going for the door.

Once Nat was put to bed, I stared down at him staring up at me. I smiled a little, making him smile a huge toothless grin.

"I love you, buddy." I murmured. I made my hands into a heart- my thumbs made as the point of the heart- and put it over my own heart.

"Looky there. You made up a signal for "goodnight- I love you"." Rose said. "I can't wait til he catches onto that and starts doing it back."

I smiled and hugged her.

"I'll see you tomorrow morning before work." I said, letting go.

Once I got to the front door, Rose called my name. I turned to her.

She smiled and made a heart with her hands. I laughed and did the same before leaving.

Once I was on my way up the elevator, I realized that I HAD been spending more time with Rose than with James. And I enjoyed the time I spent with her... It felt like high school All Over Again... Maybe a little too much like it. Eh- it was probably because we had a bay together- that brings two people together in a special way- it didn't mean much.

I got home and laid in bed in James's arms.

We talked for a long time about Nathan's deafness and about how we would need to start learning sign language really soon. James told me that he missed me a lot, since I didn't get to be with him much lately. I told him about the weird feeling I had about Rose- I HAD to- he's my boyfriend. He agreed that it was probably some weird emotional bond that comes with a baby.


	8. Anniversary

_**The irony! Son of Big Time Rush leader, Kendall Knight, born deaf!**_

I stared at the page completely dedicated to me that was in the US magazine. They were everywhere lately.

Nathan was now 6 months old. His golden ringlets had to be cut twice and still they were long, covering his ears. He knew everyone who was important in his life now- he associated seeing Camille with the presence of Logan. He associated Carlos with fun and playing.

He knew a few sign language signs. Like hungry, he made a c with his hand and made a line down his abdomen with it. When he wanted his bear, he crossed his arms over his chest and drug his fingers over his skin twice.

He preferred being with me over Rosie, but he still loved her a lot. He freaked out if me, Rosie, or James wasn't in sight. Since he couldn't hear our voices in the kitchen or living room, he assumed we left him and cried. He was beginning to trust Carlos and Logan enough to be alone with them. We all talked to him, although we knew he couldn't hear us. When we DID talk to him, it kind of was a show of affection in his book.

Anyways, we were all over the tabloids. It made Rosie a little uncomfortable, but I assured her I would stop it if it got out of hand. There were numerous photos of Nathan and I- the caption saying something about how alike we looked. I planned on teaching him to cock his eyebrow at the cameras the way I sometimes did- just for the heck of it.

Sometimes when Nathan was having a hard time- maybe he didn't feel good or was just fussy- I would end up staying all night at Rosie's. Sometimes it got James upset that I didn't go home to sleep with him, but he was pretty understanding about it. Nathan stayed at our apartment sometimes, but primarily he slept at Rosie's.

It was a Friday night. James had surprised me with a dinner date for our one-year anniversary.

We went to our favorite sit-in Chinese restaurant. After ordering, James rested his chin on the backs of his hands, dreamily staring at me.

"What?" I laughed.

"You're just so cute. It's too bad I have to share." he said.

"Share? No way." I said. "I'm all yours."

"Nuh-uh. You're Rosie's mainly. And Nathan's. You're their little bitch." he smiled. "You just come to me to make you happy. If you know what I mean."

"Awe- is Jamie feeling neglected?" I laughed.

"A little." he smiled.

"Well don't worry. Tonight I'm all yours." I winked.

It wasn't that James and I didn't have sex anymore. We did. Maybe not as often as we used to, but we were still young and in love- of course we messed around still. Nathan and Rosie didn't come between our relationship at all- we were still in love. We still kissed and hugged and held hands. Just not as often.

"It's about time." he winked.

We got our dinner a while later and we did our usual. We always did 50/50 because I liked what he always got and he liked what I got, so we split the meals up and shared.

"So after this- we're going home. Locking the doors. No baby, no Rosie, no friends. Just you and me." James said, wiggling his brows.

"Okay." I winked.

"Promise you won't run off?"

"You've got the Kendall Knight guarantee." I smiled.

Once we finished eating, we paid and walked out. It was about a half mile's walk back to our apartment, so we didn't bring our car to the restaurant in the first place. We walked slowly, hand in hand, talking and laughing in the dark.

"Jame?" I asked suddenly.

"Hm?"

"Where do you think we would be now if you had dumped my sorry ass back when you found out that I was Nate's father?"

He looked up at the stars, lips pursed in thought.

"You'd be with Rosie." he said. "I mean WITH with. Hell, you might even be engaged by now."

"Why do you say that?"

"Cause if you weren't with me you'd be with Rosie. I think you have a knack for Diamonds." he said. "I know you love her. Maybe not the same way that you love me, but you love her. A little bit of that weird parent bond. A little bit of sisterly love. A little bit of friend love. And a little bit of romantic love."

I was silent- not really knowing what to say. I knew he was right, except there was more romantic love than he knew. And it scared me a lot.

"But don't worry... You know I love you and I know you love me. And I'm not gonna get all jealous over Rosie and dump you. But Kenny... If it were to get out of hand, I couldn't be with you while you feel that way about my sister..." James said.

"I get it." I said, then smiled. "But it's our one-year. Let's talk about happy stuff."

"Happy stuff?" he said as if in thought. Suddenly his arms were around my waist and he whirled me around- his back against the wall of the brick building beside us. He kissed my nose, then my cheek, then my lips.

"Jamie- there are people taking pictures of us." I laughed. James turned to the oncoming paparazzi and waved, giving them a dazzling smile.

"Am I embarrassing you, baby?" he giggled, turning back to me.

"No way." I smiled deviously and kissed him. Suddenly, my phone began vibrating in my pocket.

_Kendall, I need u here! Nate is FREAKING and I dunno wats going on!_

"Who is it?" James asked as the paparazzi surrounded us.

"Rose." I said.

"What did she say?"

"She said that Nate's freaking and she needs me." I said guiltily.

"Are you gonna go?" he asked, slowly letting go of me.

"I can't just ignore it." I said, brushing something from the collar of his shirt.

"You promised..."

"I'm sorry, Jame. I'm a father..."

James rolled his eyes and shook his head as he took my hands from his collar and dropped them. With that, he left me- pushing through the questioning paparazzi and storming into the dark.

"KENDALL! IS THIS THE END OF THE KAMES RELATIONSHIP?"

"ARE YOU GOING TO GO AFTER HIM OR GO TO ATTEND TO YOUR SON?"

I angrily pushed through the paparazzi, who followed me all the way to James.

"Jamie-" I began, grabbing his arm. He quickly tore it away, quickening his pase but not looking at me.

"Just go, Kendall." he said.

* * *

"I'm so sorry- if I'da known it was your anniversary, I woulda never even bothered you." Rosie said, brows turned up. We were sitting on the couch and I was holding Nathan- who was screaming and crying- trying to entertain him with his bear. "Now I feel like shit..."

"It's whatever." I mumbled. I was ticked- James was mad at me, I had a baby who wouldn't shut up, and now I probably wasn't welcome home tonight.

Rosie put her head on my shoulder, making me jump up.

"We can't do this anymore." I said quickly.

"Do what?"

Suddenly, I just burst. I held Nathan up before me.

"NATHAN JAMES I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU DON'T STOP WITH THE CRYING-" I almost yelled. Suddenly something changed in Nate's eyes and he smiled and reached out to grip my nose.

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, then cradled Nate against my chest and turned to his room.

I put him in his crib and he looked at me, making a poorly made heart with his hands and placing it over his own heart. I sighed and did the same, giving him a little smile.

"Kendall- what's going on?" Rosie asked behind me.

"Nothing. I'll see you tomorrow." I said, then hugged her and left.

* * *

The door to our apartment wasn't locked, so I walked right in.

"James?" I called.

"Did you take care of it?" he asked from the couch where he was watching Family Guy.

"Yeah... Guess he just missed me." I said.

"We're already on the internet." he said quietly. I walked over to him and he showed me his laptop.

**_Baby is finally coming between Kendall Knight and James Diamond's relationship! James bails on anniversary date after Kendall is called to attend to his child! Is this the end?_**

There were pictures of first our little make-out session, then me checking my phone, then James running off.

"Guess I shouldn'ta got so worked up." he said, biting his lip.

"Well I DID give you the Kendall Knight guarantee, didn't I?" I sighed. "Guess I fucked up."

"I shouldn't be mad at you. I'mma chew Rosie's ass later for it." he winked as he turned off the tv and pulled me down to his level to kiss me.

"Really? You STILL want to do this?" I laughed.

He didn't answer- just grunted as he got up and pulled me to the bedroom.

* * *

**Review!**


	9. Birthday

Now. Fast forward two and a half years.

We were at Nathan's third birthday party (in what was now Carlos's apartment, since all but he had moved out) at the Palm Woods. It was one of Nathan's favorite places to be, I guess it was the colors and the toys and the swirly slide. Anyway, yeah. My son was now three years old- which was extremely depressing for me to think about.

He was still small- the top of his head only reached mid-thigh on me. We allowed his golden curls to grow until it hit his shoulders, then we got it trimmed. His hair grew quickly.

Nathan was extremely photogenic. He did the eyebrow cocking thing, a thumbs up, stuck out his tongue, and sometimes he simply gave a cute smile and waved.

We DID sing to him for his birthday- just like every year. It would be weird NOT to, right?

After the song was over, he turned to James, whose lap he was in, and grunted, pointing to the cake.

_What do you want?_ James signed this and said it at the same time, allowing Nathan to connect mouth movements with sign language. All of us knew how to say that phrase in sign language AT LEAST, but me, Rosie, James, and Logan knew how to say most anything we wanted to. We asked this, even if we knew what he wanted, to encourage communication.

_Cake! Cake! _Nathan signed, bouncing impatiently. James gave him an expectant look. _Please! _Nathan added.

James smiled and kissed Nathan's hair as he stood, put Nathan in Carlos's lap, and went to cut the cake.

"That's way too big for him." I warned as James cut a pretty decent sized piece.

"It's his birthday! And you KNOW chocolate cake is his crack." James said. I cocked a brow and him, making him sigh and put the slice in half, plopping it on the plate.

We had broken up a number of times in these few years that Nathan has been alive. Mostly because of A. I didn't have much time for a relationship and B. Rosie and I only got closer and closer, making James nervous. But in the end, we were Kames, bitch! Yeah, we're gonna get back together. We're meant to be! So just to be clear, we were together at this time.

Carlos turned on Nathan's special light up fork, which flashed red (Nate's favorite color) and got a chunk of cake on it, then handed the fork to Nate so he could feed himself. He had been taking more initiative with CARING for Nate instead of just PLAYING with him. See, he had this new girlfriend, Tara, (well, not NEW. They had been together for about a year, but she's new to you.) and she was a kindergarten assistant teacher person. She was short and blonde and bubbly and PERFECT for Carlos, and was teaching him to care for kids. In reality, I think Carlos just wanted kids of his own, but she wasn't convinced he was capable enough yet.

We all sat around the table and ate as we talked and joked and such.

"Carlos! Don't bounce him like that, you'll make him puke." Logan scowled, punching Carlos in the shoulder, making him stop bouncing his knee.

Nate jumped down from Carlos's lap (he had been jumping from things ever since he could. He's already a daredevil) and ran over to Rosie.

_Cars! _he signed with excitement.

_Play? _she signed. Nate nodded, making Rosie turn to me.

"Play with your son."

"Why can't you?" I argued.

"Because it's your job." she said smartly, taking a napkin from the table to wipe chocolate from Nate's fine skin.

I got up, and took Nate by the wrists, lifting him up, making him do his silent giggle. It drove Rosie crazy when I carried him by his appendages, but Nate liked it. I carried him over to the living room where I laid on my stomach and watched him get out his light up cars and bring them to me.

I normally quizzed him on the colors of the cars, making him use his signs, but this made him impatient so I didn't- just because it was his birthday.

As he rolled the cars through the tick carpet (Carlos didn't have Hot Wheels because of the thick shag carpet in his apartment- he had monster trucks and other bigger cars), he buzzed his lips to make an engine noise. Really, he just saw us do this when we played with the cars and mocked us- he didn't know what it actually stood for. His caramelly green eyes shone when he watched the cars light up as they rolled, just like they always did.

Suddenly, he looked up at me and grinned. He inherited my dimples. Yes- a one in four chance and he did it. Nathan reached over and tapped my nose, causing me to cross my eyes and stick out my tongue. I figured with as much as he touched my nose (he NEVER stopped it since he was a baby) I might as well make it fun for him. And he loved it- it made him do his silent giggle and crinkle up his nose.

I laughed and pulled myself up to my knees, picking him up upside down, holding him by his ankles, and blowing on his stomach- causing him to wriggle and giggle.

"Kendall! You're gonna drop him!" I heard Rosie admonish me. I rolled my eyes good naturedly and returned him to his upright position. Nate threw his arms around my neck tightly in a hug and I squeezed him back, standing up and taking him back to the table, where I sat on James's knee.

"You're so damn cute with him." James smiled.

"Naaaw." I smiled and kissed him. When I looked back at Nate, he was giving me a sad look. I pouted my lips and smiled before puckering up for him to kiss me. Then he turned and kissed James, too. When he saw anyone close to him get kissed, he immediately had to kiss them, too.

I looked around to see Logan and Camille mildly bickering about something, Carlos braiding Tara's hair as she told him some story, and Rosie in the kitchen doing dishes.

"I'm gonna go help Rosie." I said, getting up and setting Nate in James's lap.

"You're quiet." I noted, taking a towel to dry things that were set out.

"I got a call." she said without hesitation, her hazel eyes not looking up.

"You're pregnant again. Well, I know it's not mine." I joked.

"No." she sighed. "It's from the pediatrition."

"Everything okay?"

"I guess..." she said. "But they told me that they can do Nate's surgery NOW if we wanted. They came up with this new way."

"That's great." I said excitedly. "Let's make an appointment."

"I don't want him to get the surgery." she said quickly, putting down the dish in her hand and turning to me. "It's too dangerous."

"What're you TALKING about? Rosie, this is fantastic news! The earlier he gets his hearing fixed, the earlier he can be a kid! A normal kid!"

"Kendall, the doctor said this new surgery is even more risky than the first one."

"I think it's worth it." I said. "Really."

"I just don't know." she said quietly. "It's a big decision."

"We'll asked Logan what he thinks. I'm sure he knows more than we do." I said, with a smile. "Just relax- don't worry about it now."

"I have to. I'm the mom." she grumbled, turning back to the dishes. I sighed and stepped behind her to hug her from behind, my cheek on the top of her head. James gave me a confused look and I gave him a dismissive wave.

"Get offa me." Rosie mumbled, trying to shrug me away.

"I wuv you, Wosie." I sang.

"It amazes me that your boyfriend doesn't get pissy when you do this right in front of him." she sighed.

"He does." I laughed. "He gets it. Cause I WUV HIM TOO." I said the last part loud so that he would hear. He shot me a look and stuck out his tongue at me.

Rosie wriggled from my grasp to shake her head at me.

"You really should stop that." she said. "I'm just your baby mama. AND your boyfriend's little sister."

"I wish I could stop." I sighed, then shrugged. "Oh well."

She laughed and rolled her eyes as she turned back to the dishes.

"Don't worry about the surgery thing, okay?" I said. "We can worry about it when it's NOT our only child's birthday."

"Fine." she sighed.

* * *

**So it's not a big impact chapter, but the story'll get better, I swear! :)**


	10. Doctors Can Only Fix Some Things

**So there are a few of you who have been super awesome at reviewing either all along or lately or just at the beginning. And I think you guys deserve a little recognition, SOOOO,**

**Thank you to:::**

**CrazyKendallLover71999, bmwstamps, LoveSparkle, AkireAlev.**

**And if you're the only ones who are still reading, cool beans! At least you review! **

**Of course, thank you to everyone else who has reviewed! :) I appreciate them all.**

* * *

Nate grinned up at me as he played with the numerous interactive toys that the ear sergion had in the waiting room.

"I dunno about this." Rosie said beside me. She had lines beneath her eyes and she was twisting the ring that she wore on her middle finger nervously. "I dunno why we're even considering this."

I smiled and reached over to take her hand in mine.

"It's what's best." I said. "You'll see."

Her hazel eyes, full of concern, flickered from me to Nate to me again.

"I know that it's best for him to be able to hear, but it's too dangerous. He's still so young."

"The earlier we get it done, the earlier he can learn to talk- learn to LIVE." I said, then gestured to Nate on the floor, playing wildly with the toys and silently laughing. "This is Nate WITHOUT hearing. Imagine him WITH it. He'll be so happy- so full of wonder and excitement. And I think as parents, it's our duty to make his life as good as it can be."

"Do you remember when I was pregnant? He used to go crazy when you were around, and I always thought that he knew your voice. But he didn't- couldn't have. And for the longest time after he was born, I wondered what made him go crazy. Then I realized... He felt my heart flutter when you were around." she said with a little smile. "Cause even if I DID know you were gay and I could never have you, you still made me so happy. You always know just what to say, you know?"

I shrugged cockily.

"It's what I do." I smirked, watching as Nate came up and climbed in Rosie's lap. She immediately began wiping God knows what from his face, then kissed him on the cheek and hugged him. Nate always went to her when he wanted hugs or kisses, which wasn't often, but still happened. He came to me when he wanted to play and be silly.

"He has your nose." I noted as they both looked at me. "Lucky he doesn't have mine."

"I dunno- I think he likes yours." she noted as Nate laid his head on her collarbone. "I do, too. It's fun to look at. You have the perfect profile, you know."

"Thanks? Maybe?" I asked suspiciously, but suddenly a peppy blonde nurse came into the waiting room.

"Nathan Knight?" she called. We stood and followed her down a hallway.

"What a mouthful of a name." the girl giggled to me as Rosie, carrying Nate (usually my job), walked behind us. "So many N's."

"Knight starts with a K." Rosie lashed. "It's only ONE N. Technically."

I turned and raised my brows at her in surprise as we were taken into a room with an examination table. This room wasn't colorful and fun like the pediatritian, which made Nate tense, making him cling to Rosie with all his might.

"Doctor Hill will be with you soon." the nurse said to me, then glanced at Rosie and left.

"What the hell?" I laughed, punching Rosie in the shoulder. Nate looked at me accusingly and signed _No hitting, Daddy! _I laughed and sighed _Sorry, I forgot! _

"It's my job as the sister of your boyfriend to protect you from all flirting." Rosie said smartly. "Just being a good sister."

"Oh, but it's okay for you to tell me that I make your heart flutter?" I mocked.

"Yeah. I'm the mother of your baby." she responded.

I rolled my eyes and laughed as the doctor came into the room.

"Hi, I'm Doctor Hill." he smiled, shaking our hands- even Nate's. "So your son- how old is he?"

"He just turned three." Rosie answered.

"Tell us about the surgery." I suggested.

" , what we'll do is use a very thin tube and put it through into his ear- this is basically just a camera. Then we'll use very small tools to fix his problem. By what I've seen and researched, I'd say his disability is caused by disconnection between the brain and eardrum, so it could be potentially dangerous for us to do this. It's been done on dozens of three year olds and up. Although it hasn't been done on a child like Nathan, who was born with dysfunctional eardrums, it shouldn't be too much of a problem."

"This sounds WAY too risky." Rosie said nervously.

"It is risky, I have to admit. There's a risk that we sever more nerves and take away the function of some other sense or limb. There's always the risk that there's no fixing his disability. There's a risk that he may get infected. But I assure you, Mrs. Diamond, there is no risk of Nathan dying because of this surgery." Dr. Hill said. "We take working on children extremely seriously and there's only about a one in five chance that the surgery is not a success."

Rosie looked at me, worry in her hazel eyes.

"How long will it take before he is recovered and can hear?" I asked Dr. Hill.

"He'll be able to hear as soon as he wakes up- but it will be very dim. He'll have to get hearing aids, but at least he'll be able to hear at all. As of recovery, you'll have to give him antiseptic eardrops so many times a day, pan meds will be a must, but that's about it. There will be no stitches, no blood, nothing." he shrugged, then looked at us both. "I'm getting mixed signals from both of you."

"Well, I want to get this done. See, I'm a singer and it's a big part of my life for my son to be able to hear music. Plus I want what's best for him. But Rosie isn't sold. She thinks it's too risky and isn't worth it." I explained.

"I think it's worth it." she said defensively. "I just don't want anything to happen to him."

"It is always a big step for parents to choose surgery for their children. But it's something you have to talk over." he shrugged. "There is no rush for this to happen- he's got his whole life ahead of him."

* * *

After we left, Rosie sat in the front seat, twisting her ring in thought, as I buckled Nate into his car seat. He was already asleep, so I didn't need to wrestle him in the buckles like usual. Then I sat in the front seat and stared at Rosie.

"We gotta do it." I said simply.

"I still dunno. They're messing with his BRAIN connections, Kendall. That's big..." she said. "And they've never done it on someone like Nate before."

"Look, Rose. He's my son, too, and I care about him more than anything. If I didn't think it was safe I would never allow it." I murmured, reaching over to play with her hair.

"You're right..." she said, biting her lip.

"So you're in?" I asked.

"I'm nervous about it, though." she sighed.

I smiled and stretched over to kiss her cheek jokingly, then started the car.

"I am, too. But we both know it's what is right for him." I said. "So we make an appointment."

* * *

When I got home with Nate that night, James was waiting at the table with his laptop, glaring at me.

"What's with the eyes?" I asked, letting Nate down to run off and get his toys out. I went over to kiss James, but he pulled away.

"Where've you been?" he asked.

"The doctor. Then I took Rosie and Nate out to dinner." I said, confused.

"Oh yeah? For four hours?" he asked.

"Yes, Jamie. For four hours. The appointment was at three, we were there for an hour or so, we went to dinner... Okay, that doesn't add up. But I swear-"

"You know, I'da thought you'd be more cautious after three years of being famous." James said, turning the laptop to me. I looked at the screen to see a huge picture of me kissing Rosie on the cheek in the car- her smiling a little.

"Jame, that was taken outta context." I sighed. "I swear- she had just agreed to Nate's surgery and I was happy. It was more of a joke than anything."

"You love her, don't you?"

"Jame-"

"DON'T you?"

I sighed, defeated.

"Yeah." I said. "But not like I love YOU."

James shook his head, staring at the table before him.

"It's hard to be with you..." he said quietly.

"Do you not TRUST me, James?" I asked defensively. "I've never done ANYTHING unfaithful."

"I dunno, Kendall." he sighed, getting up. "Sometimes I just feel like there's so much that I'm not seeing."

"You think I'd rather be with ROSIE that you?" I asked, catching his arm.

James sighed and looked at Nate, then to me.

"It isn't that I don't love you. Cause I do. But... Sometimes I think that I'm just pulling you back. We've been on and off for three years and I'm sick of it."

"Then marry me." I blurted. James's hazel eyes turned to me, shocked.

"What?"

"Marry me. Then you don't have to worry at all." I said.

James's hazel eyes turned to mine, then he shook his head and stroked my cheek once.

"I don't think so." he said quietly with a tiny smile.

"Then what? What do I have to do to get you to SEE?" I pleaded.

"Kendall... If you look me in the eyes and tell me that I'm the only one your heart belongs to... I'll forget all this." he said. I opened my mouth to speak, looking deep into his eyes, but nothing came out.

His eyes dropped and he nodded.

"I see." he said, never looking at me. "I think you and Nate should go somewhere else tonight."

With that, he turned, closed his laptop, and went off to the bedroom.

I clenched my fists in frustration before flinging a coffee mug across the kitchen to shatter against the wall. I was angry and confused- I didn't even know if we were still together or not. Suddenly there was a tug at my shirt and I looked down into tearful caramel green eyes.

_Why are you mad?_ Nate signed.

_Don't worry about it. _I signed before picking him up, kissing him, and taking him out the door to Carlos's.

* * *

**Review! Please be nice! **


	11. Dreaming

"What's wrong with you lately?" Rosie asked me as we waited in the waiting room- awaiting to be let in for Nate's surgery. Only me and Rosie were there at the time, everyone else was coming closer to when he was waking up. "It isn't just nerves about the surgery."

"It's James." I sighed.

"But you guys are still together, right?"

I looked down at Nate in my lap, who was playing with the buttons on my shirt.

"Yeah." I said. It had been almost a month since our fight, but things hadn't really gone back to normal.

"I feel really bad that he's so insecure about me." she sighed. "I wished there was something I could do."

"Unless you wanna stop being Rosie." I sighed.

"I would- for you." she laughed. "But hey- everything'll work out. I promise."

I gave her a grateful smile and nodded.

"You're right." I said. "You're always right."

We waited for what seemed like forever before Nate was called.

He was laid in a bed after being put in a gown and the nurses all tried to hook him up to heart monitors and such, which made him freak. I was forced to sit on the bed, him in my lap, holding him down as they did what they needed.

_What's going on? _Nate signed helplessly to me.

_The doctors are going to fix your ears._

_Why?_

_Because they're broken._

"Okay, honey. Time for the anesthesia." an old nurse said, holding out the gas mask. He wouldn't let her put it on him, so I took it.

_It'll make you go night-night. But I'll be here when you wake up._ I signed. His eyes were tearful, but he allowed me to put the mask over his mouth and nose and soon he mellowed out and laid down against my chest- my hand grasping his. It didn't take long for him to go to sleep and I had to let go of his hand and lay him gently in the bed before he was wheeled out.

Rosie stood there, watching our son be pushed away, sniffling.

"Everything'll be fine." I said, putting my arms around her.

"I know. But what if it isn't?" she asked, eyes tearful, as she returned the hug.

"It will."

Rosie was silent as she laid her head against my chest, her tears staining my shirt.

"If it doesn't work, I'm Kendall Knight, bitch. I can sue em." I giggled, making her laughed and shake her head.

We went out into the lobby to sit down in the uncomfortable chairs. Rosie sat there staring at the floor, I flipped through a magazine. It would take three hours before the surgery was done, then another two hours before he woke up.

James, Carlos, Logan, and Camille showed up after three hours- I was asleep and Rosie was awake- she may have been asleep, but I wouldn't know.

Anyway, I was asleep- dreaming.

* * *

_"Mrs. Diamond?" the nurse said into the waiting room._ _Rosie got up and I caught her arm._

_"Why didn't they call me?" I asked._

_"It's probably just a quick question about allergies or something." Rosie shrugged and smiled, then walked away._

_It took what seemed like a long time for her to come back, and when she did she was sobbing._

_"What's wrong?" I asked, jumping up._

_"They killed him! Killed my baby!" she shrieked. "It's all your fault, Kendall! I didn't wanna do it! And now our son is dead!"_

_"What? Nate's dead?" I asked in a panic. "That's impossible!"_

_"Fuck you, Kendall Knight! I never wanna see you again!" Rosie screamed and turned, but I caught her arm. With surprising strength, Rosie pushed me away and ran out of the hospital._

_I turned to James for comfort, but saw Carlos instead, dark eyes filled with anger._

_"You're a monster!" he yelled at me._

_"Carlos!" _

_"MONSTER!" _

_With that, Carlos also stormed out of the room._

_"You killed my Godchild? My one and only Godchild?" Logan shrieked, pushing me from behind._

_"I didn't mean to!" I replied, unable to cry._

_"You sick bastard!" Camille spat as she and Logan left. I turned to find James, but he was gone. Suddenly he was in front of me, a small figure laying limply in his arms. It was Nate- his hair covered by a shower cap-looking thing, in a light blue hospital gown, his head and limbs hanging helplessly. Blood trickled from his ears and mouth and James looked at me, tears in his eyes. _

_He shook his head in disgust and suddenly he dropped Nate and dashed away._

_I quickly attempted to dive and catch Nate, and that's when I woke up._

* * *

"Babe!" James whisper-yelled, shaking me awake. My eyes flew open and suddenly I was back in the waiting room- slouched in a chair, everyone in the room staring at me.

"You okay?" James asked, brows raised, stroking my hair.

"Is Nate okay?" I asked, sitting up, looking around.

"I dunno- he should be outta surgery soon." James said. "Was that what your dream was about?"

"I dreamt he died. And everyone hated me because I'm the reason he got the surgery. And you held him, then you dropped him and I tried to catch him, then I woke up." I said as he accepted me under his arm- my head on his shoulder.

"It's gonna be okay." he said gently, kissing my hair. He began lightly running his fingers over my arm. There was something in his voice that held a meaning in itself.

"There's something wrong." I said. "What's wrong?"

"Your dream disturbs me." he said.

"Me, too."

"No- I mean because of what your sub-conscious is trying to tell you." he said as he stopped rubbing my arm.

"Which is?"

"That's you're scared that our relationship is dying and you can't save it." he said softly.

"Jame, can we PLEASE not talk about this here?" I groaned, sitting up to look at him. His hazel eyes dropped.

"I'm tired of it, too." he said with heartbreaking sadness. "I'm gonna put it up to you. Okay?"

"Put what up to me?"

"Us."

"That's good. Cause I'm never gonna let go of you." I smiled.

"Never?"

"Never." I smiled and leaned in to kiss him a few times.

"Mr. Knight? Your son is out of surgery, but it'll be a few hours yet before he wakes up." a male nurse said, standing before everyone.

"How'd it go?" I asked, standing up, urgency in my voice.

"I can't release that information."

"Well is he ALIVE?"

"Yes. Your son is very alive." he smiled before turning and going back.

Rose pased for a while before James forced her to sit so he could play with her hair, which always calmed her. I wrote a poem. A song, really.

I called it "If I Ruled the World". It was about if I ruled the world, I'd give everything to Nate. And there was a part in there about if Rosie would allow me to take care of her, she wouldn't have to constantly worry about anything. And there was a rap in there, too.

After two hours, the nurse retrieved us and took us to Nate's room, where he was stirring oh-so slightly. I sat on one side of him and Rosie sat on the other, facing him, waiting for his eyes to open.

"Everyone quiet." Rosie whispered. Everyone sat completely still- breathing silently.

Finally Nate's caramelly green eyes fluttered open and focused on me.

"Can you hear me?" I said loudly (I knew he would only hear very little if it worked), signing my sentence at the same time.

* * *

**AAAH! cliffhanger! **

**So my friend, MoonlightSkye, has recently brought it to my attention that she knows my alter-ego and is reading my stories. SSSOOOOO, PP. If you're reading this. I hate you. Stop reading. I'll be forced to break out my Men In Black mind erase- thing tmro at school. Oh, and happy birthday. Even though you're probably not gonna read this today. (((It was PP's 16th bday today, the 6th.)))**

**BUT for everyone else, sorry for the cliffhanger! :D**

**This story is coming to a close! :( Any ideas for an awesome grand finale in a few chapters?**

**Please review! I love you guys!**


	12. Results

Nate looked at me; panic in his eyes and immediately burst into tears. The sound of his own crying made him jump and he stared wildly around the room- horror in his eyes. Rosie let out a sob and hugged the panicky child- careful not to disturb his ears. "Don't be scared, baby." She signed and said at the same time. Suddenly a doctor came in as Nate clung to Rosie helplessly. "He's not taking it well." Carlos said to the doctor. "I wouldn't expect him to. He's never even heard before." The doctor said. "It's gonna take a while for him to get used to it. When you're ready, Mr. and Mrs. Knight, please meet me in the office at the end of the hall to discuss the operation." Rosie nodded to the doctor and smirked at me when he left. She got called Mrs. Knight all the time. "Mommy my ears hurt." Nate signed, tears in his eyes. He cupped his hands over his ears and his lip quivered. I wasn't sure if he meant that it was too loud for his liking or that his actual ears hurt from the surgery. "Do you want medicine?" Rosie signed and said. Nate shook his head helplessly. "Make it stop." He said. I knew he meant the noise. He couldn't tell us WHAT he wanted to stop because he never knew what hearing was until now. "You don't like it?" Nate shook his head and buried his face in her collarbone, curling up into her lap. She stroked his hair soothingly and gave me a grave look. "He'll get used to it." I promised. "Give it time." Soon Nate was passed off to James and Rosie and I went into the doctor's office. "The operation was a success. Obviously." Dr. Hill smiled from behind his desk as we sat down. "There were only minor troubles pertaining to the small size of his ear, but we overcame them." "He's scared to death." Rosie said angrily. "What the hell are we supposed to do about that?" "It'll take a day or two for him to get used to hearing noises all the time. I'd say once he stops being so scared, you talk to him regularly. Use the signs with the speech and soon he'll start trying to talk, too. But this'll scare him, so beware." "What about medication?" I asked. "Right. Eardrops twice a day and pain meds three times. He'll complain of a pain in his head- this is normal. If it gets too bad between pain meds, give him ibuprofen. " "Anything else?" I asked, seeing that Rosie was too upset to think of questions. "Hearing aids. We'll get him fitted for them probably tomorrow morning so they'll be ready by the time he's ready. Now I have to warn you, it'll be pricey-" "Cost isn't an issue." I interrupted. "Anything he needs, I'll get it." "Great." He smiled. "It's always refreshing to see parents who put their children before money." _ It took Rosie a while to chill out about the whole thing. It wasn't until Nate deliberately banged his glass of water on the side table over and over to hear the noise that she finally smiled up at me, eyes glowing. "Told you." I said, nudging her. He climbed into my lap after he was done with the glass thing and looked me deeply into my eyes. "What happened to my ears?" he asked. "They're fixed." I signed and said. "Now you're like us and you can hear everything." Nate's eyes lit up and he touched my lips. I smiled and nipped the tiny fingers, making him laugh for the first time. It wasn't audible- it was still silent. "Repeat." He signed. "Your ears are fixed. You can hear like everyone else now." I signed and said louder this time. Nate grinned and bounced in my lap. "I think he likes your voice." James said to me, nudging me. "But who doesn't?" Nate stared at James with curiosity and touched his lips. After discovering that James had an even DEEPER voice (which made him happy) he climbed down from my lap and ran over to Logan, then Carlos, finally Camille. He didn't like Camille's voice- he just gave her a strange look, then turned back to Logan. I guessed Nate had a thing for deep velvety voices. Rosie was pasing around the room, twisting her ring on her hand. "What's with you?" I asked from the floor, throwing a crumpled straw wrapper at her to get her attention. "Nothing. I was just thinking about how I need to get a job soon so that I can help pay for all this." She said, biting her lip. "No way." I said. "Someone has to take care of Nate." "Your mom has been begging to do it forever." She said. "You don't NEED money. I've got everything covered." I insisted. "Well I'm the mom. I have to support this- this weird ass family- somehow." "Rosie, I'm telling you. You don't have to worry about that. Right now all I want YOU to do is stay home with our son and take care of him." I said. "Yeah. So relax." James said, waving her over. She rolled her eyes and took a seat on the other side of James, laying her head on his shoulder and peacefully closing her eyes. James gave me a little smile and took my hand in his as he tipped his head to his other shoulder. "I've got two shoulders for my two favorite heads in the world." He said. "Hint: you're one of them. Go to sleep, baby. You've been up forever." I sighed and laid my head on his shoulder, feeling him kiss my hair and let go of my hand to place his on my leg. I didn't realize how tired I was until then. Nate's surgery started at 5 am, so other than that terrifying cat nap, I hadn't slept. It was now 5 pm. I faintly remembered James getting up a few hours later, setting Rosie's head in my lap. "Wanna come home?" he asked, brushing hair from my face. "No." I grumbled. "Okay. Well call me if you need anything, okay?" "Mhm." I noticed everyone else had already left and Nate was asleep in the bed. "Take care of Rosie, kay?" "Mhm." "I love you." "I love you more." I said happily as he kissed me a few times and left. "I miss it." Rosie grumbled sleepily, rolling over in my lap to look up at me. Her pupils were huge and I knew she was really asleep. She did this a lot. "Miss what?" I yawned. "You saying that to me. Remember?" she said. "When I'd say 'I love you' and you'd say 'I love you more'?" "I remember." "Sometimes I wish you'd say that again." She said. I was silent, so she went on. "Sometimes I have to restrain myself from saying that I love you cause I know it's wrong. But it's hard." "Shh, Rosie. Go back to sleep." I said, stroking her hair. "And if you promise not to tell James, I'll tell you a secret." "Okay." "I love you. Like- a lot. And I have for a while but I didn't wanna stress you out so I didn't tell you." "Oh." "Yeah." "What if I told you I was pregnant? Would you love me again?" "No. I'd be severely confused." I laughed. "I think we need to have another baby." "I dunno, Rose." "It would give us an excuse to have sex!" "And James an excuse to dump my ass." "Then me 'n you could be together forever." "Let's talk about this when you're awake. Okay?" "Will you gimme a kiss?" "No, Rose." "Why? Nobody's here." "Cause if I kissed you… My whole life would come crashing down." "Oh." "Go to sleep." "Kay." She then rolled over again and nestled her cheek on my lap and went to sleep. My heart felt heavy. Great. So Rosie was in love with me, too. Life was so much easier when I was oblivious. Fantastic. I stroked her hair, deep in thought. I loved James a whole lot. But I also loved Rosie. No. James. James is my one and only… Right? I decided not to mention this to Rosie when she was conscious. I couldn't risk losing James. _ Hey guys! So please please please review! When like nobody reviews it makes me feel like I'm boring people and they all died and aren't reading anymore! So review. Please.


	13. Rash Decisions for Everyone!

Nate was allowed home the next week and he was driving Rosie and I crazy with all the banging and button pushing and screaming that he did. He loved to get on my phone and play songs all the time- I was happy that he liked music.

James was at our own apartment cleaning. He was going nuts with all the toys that Nate had sprawled out and besides that, out apartment was a mess. So I came here because I didn't want to clean and he actually told me to leave because I was in his way, so I went to Rosie's.

"Look at me." Rosie insisted, Nate in her lap facing her. We were on the couch and I was watching hockey, not paying much attention to her. She signed and said her words at the same time. "Nathan. Say NATHAN."

"No." Nate said, crinkling up his nose with a smile. It was the one word he knew- no.

"Kendall! You try." she groaned.

"I think he's just tired. He's been bouncing around all day- he doesn't have the brain energy or attention span to do that right now." I said, not looking at her- I was too interested in the game.

"I think you just don't wanna try." she grumbled.

"Tomorrow."

"Whatever." she mocked good-naturedly.

"He's tired. And it's eleven. He should be in bed." I said.

"You take him."

"It's the last-" I began, whining.

"Kendall!"

I scowled and got up, picking Nate up and slinging him over my shoulder, only getting a minor response from the tired child. I gave him his pain meds, making him cry as the pill went down his throat, which was always hard for me, too. Then I put him to bed.

"Which team were you rooting for?" Rosie called as I closed the door to Nate's room.

"The Wilds." I answered.

"Oh. So less points is BAD, right?"

"Awe, they lost? Damn new center can't play worth crap." I grumbled, plopping down on the couch.

"Maybe YOU should be the center." she suggested.

"Yeah- RIGHT." I laughed. "I actually haven't played hockey in forever."

"Maybe that's something that you and the guys should do." she said, laying her head in my lap and looking up at me. I took strands of her long hair and tickled her face with it, making her nose crinkle up.

"I'd like to teach Nate hockey sometime." I said.

"Sounds dangerous."

"He's tough. Besides- every inch of him would be armored up." I said. She sat up and faced me.

"You're quite literally the best father ever." she noted. "I mean- you coulda made me go back to Minnesota never to meet Nate once you found out that he was yours. You coulda not been in his life. Coulda completely shut me out. But you didn't. And just look- you're his favorite person ever. And if it weren't for you, he would probably never be able to get his hearing repaired. Thank you."

"I've always dreampt of having a family... Okay maybe not this early under these circumstances. But I still love Nate. I love you. I love being a father." I smiled. "It's my number one priority. If I had to choose between my life as a family guy and my life as a singer I'd choose Nate any day."

Rosie grinned and we just stared at each other for a while. Suddenly she smiled and looked down, then her eyes flashed back to mine and she put a hand on my knee to support herself as she sat up...

Suddenly my world went black and Rosie's lips were on mine.

And in an instant they were gone and my eyes fluttered open.

"I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry." she said, that same panicky look in her eyes as James got. "It's just... Remember that night that there was a dance and James was sick, so you and me danced- before we really even discovered each other? Well that night you gave me that same look that you just gave me... And you kissed me for the first time. And just then... I dunno. It was caught up in the moment."

I looked at her a second before gently touching the nape of her neck and pulling her face to mine again.

"Kendall-"

"Sh-"

We kissed again. It felt so wrong to have such small, soft, petite lips on mine... But I loved it. I missed it. I felt Rosie's fingers tangle in my hair and she broke her air, pressing her forehead to mine the way she always used to do, waiting for me to kiss her more, which I did.

My hand slipped from her neck to her small hips to lift her and lay her on my couch, towering over her as we kissed.

Her fingers traced the crevice of my spine, making me shiver. She knew this made me excited.

Her warmth under my body... The elegance of her shape... The gentleness of her fingers... Her long hair brushing my arms. I loved it all. I missed it all. It was so different from James, yet just the same.

James...

James...

James!

I broke the kiss suddenly and jumped up, backing away in a panic. Rosie laid there on the back, staring dreamily at the ceiling before her familiar hazel eyes turned to me.

Her slender fingers touched her lips, eyes wide.

"I have to go." I said abruptly, making for the door.

"Kendall! Wait!" she called and I stopped to see her coming for me.

"Don't tell James." she said.

I sighed and shook my head, not sure what to say.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry I kissed you in the first place." she said. "I shouldn't have. And that- that back there... It was amazing. But it went too far and it could have gone farther. I want you to forget about it. Forget about ME. Okay? Okay?"

"What the HELL do you think I've been trying to do?" I burst. Her eyes widened and she drew back. "DAMMIT, Rosie! Do you KNOW how much I've been thinking about you? I tried telling myself that I love JAMES. Only HIM! But I know it's a lie. And it kills me to do that to him. Do that to YOU!"

She looked down in shame.

"I wish I could just leave your life... But there's nothing I can do."

"There's something I can do."

"No." she said defensively, looking up at me. "Don't you DARE."

"I dunno... I'll see you later."

With that, I turned and left.

* * *

I walked into mine and James's apartment to see the furniture completely rearranged.

"You're hooome!" James sang as he hurried out of the kitchen in his tanktop and gym shorts- his cleaning clothes.

"Jame- can we talk?"

"Course." he smiled, bending down to kiss me. "But FIRST, check out the new arrangement."

He took my hand and pulled me to the living room.

"I think it makes it all look bigger- more open." he said as he hugged me from behind and put his chin on my shoulder. "Don't you?"

I looked around at the rearranged furniture indifferently.

"Yeah."

"I'm glad." he smiled, kissing my cheek from behind.

"You did this all by yourself?" I asked, confused.

"Yeah. It was kinda hard cause I haven't really worked out in a while, but I got the job done."

"You shoulda called me... You coulda thrown out your back." I said.

"I'm James fucking Diamond. Are you doubting my ability?" he giggled.

"No. I'm just concerned."

"Oh- and check this out. Now that there's more room in front of the couch-"

He lead me to sit on the couch before he straddled my lap and spread his arms with pride.

"See? Isn't this cool?" he smiled.

"So now... You can sit on me?" I asked in confusion.

"Not ONLY sit on you." he giggled, then wrapped his arms around my neck and kissed me.

"Jamie- we gotta talk." I began, but he continued to kiss my neck and cheek as he slowly moved his hips the way he liked to do.

"So talk." he said.

"You're distracting me." I groaned.

"Lil old me? Being DISTRACTING?" he said innocently, pulling back to grin at me. "Okay. Talk."

I looked into his hazel eyes- those playful, innocent, loving eyes that I'd been so attached to all these years- and couldn't speak. They were almost the same color as Rosie's, except his were more brown than green and hers were more green than brown, but it was the tiniest of difference. His eyes showed a sense of desire when he looked at me. Love and understanding and a hint of vulnerable trust. But Rosie showed me pure joy, fun, but I saw a bit of forbidden longing in there, too. I'd always thought that the two sets of eyes were the same, but now I realized that there were universes of difference in them.

His eyes switched back and forth, searching mine for answers.

"What is it? You're being weird." he said uncomfortably.

I wanted to tell him about me and Rosie kissing. I even planned on breaking up with him, just to stop the torture...

But when I looked at those eyes... Those pink lips... The dark hair on his forehead... The constant stubble on his jaw and upper lip... The way his brows flattened out at the top... His dark eyelashes that I always told him looked like llama lashes... I couldn't. I couldn't let this go.

"Is it about Rosie?" he asked solemnly.

I smiled a little and took his hands, lacing my fingers with his. Yeah- they weren't slender with long nails and a ring on the middle one- but they were thicker, rougher, bigger, trusting.

"No." I finally answered, making him sigh in relief.

"Then what is it?"

"How long have we been together? Not counting the off seasons." I asked.

"Almost four years."

"So why aren't we married?"

James snorted and shook his head.

"Are you drunk?"

"Jamie, will you marry me?" I asked. Wow- this was going WAAAAY different than I originally intended.

* * *

**Cliffhanger! :DD**

**Please review! you guys are really awesome at reviewing and I'd like to thank sarahc1995 for the awesome advice!**


	14. Heavy Hearts

James's mouth dropped open in surprise, brows raised. Then he grinned.

"Of COURSE I'll marry you." he said and we just smiled at each other for a second before he kissed me happily.

We finished out the night... In the bedroom. We weren't sleeping.

* * *

We waited until after work the next day and we were all together in Carlos's apartment to tell everyone. My stomach churned at the thought of Rosie's reaction.

"What's wrong with you?" Rosie asked seriously in the kitchen as we made Nate juice. "Is it about last night?"

"Yeah." I said. It technically wasn't a lie.

"I told you. Forget about it." she said, handing Nate the sippy cup as he scampered away to join Carlos on the floor with the trucks.

"Yeah, yeah."

We went back into the living room and I sat with James and he put his arm around my shoulders. He was excited to tell everyone, however, I was afraid.

"Guys, we got big news." James said. Rosie sat on the ground and took Nate in her lap, looking at us.

"Oh God, is James pregnant? Dammit, Kendall. Haven't you ever heard of a condom?" Carlos joked.

"Condom!" Nate chimed. Rosie's eyes widened and she scowled at both Nate and Carlos.

"The one time he decides to repeat." I giggled, then got serious again.

"So what's the big news?" Logan asked impatiently.

"Kendall and I- we're engaged!" James said excitedly. There was an instant chatter of excitement, but Rosie just stared at the ground, not allowing anyone to see her eyes.

"So where's the ring?" Logan asked.

"It happened so suddenly- I didn't even see it coming." James said. "I guess the ring is the least of our worries."

"When?" Carlos asked.

"He asked me last night." James smiled.

Rosie's eyes flashed up, she stared at James a second, then me for just a flash. I saw tears welled up in her eyes and one fell. Her hazel eyes looked so hurt...

She got up, put Nate on the floor, and hurried to the door. She opened it and simply left.

Nate got up and let out a cry- following her to the door and opening it as he ran out into the hallway.

"NATE!" I called and got up quickly to chase after him.

I followed him all the way down the hall and barely made it into the elevator, which was empty except him.

"Where did Mommy go?" I signed and asked as the door closed. He had pressed all the buttons- which wasn't many.

"I don't know!" he signed and began to cry. I picked him up and he wrapped his arms around my neck and whimpered.

We got out at the lobby and searched everywhere. I took Nate out to the parking lot to see Rosie in her car- arms around the steering wheel, forehead on the top part. Her hair was loose and hiding her face.

I sighed and opened the door. Nate sat in the middle seat, hugging his mother's arm. Her shoulders trembled and she let out a sob.

"Just go." she said to me quietly. "Please."

"I'm sorry, Rosie." I murmured, touching her arm. Suddenly she swatted my hand away and lifted her head to stare at me. Her face and eyes were red and her cheeks were wet.

"I don't fucking care about your apologies." she said, tears pouring from her face. Nate climbed into her lap and she wrapped her arms around him tightly.

"You told me to forget about you." I said.

"You don't- you don't kiss a girl then go home and propose to her brother." she cried.

"It wasn't planned. Actually, I meant to break up with him. For YOU." I admitted. "But then I realized how much I loved him. And it just happened."

"I love you, Kendall. I love you so much." she sobbed. "I'm not MAD at you. I'm so happy for James. But... I'm so heartbroken. I thought there was just the tiniest bit of hope that you might choose me over him..."

"I almost did." I said quietly. This made her cry harder.

"But at the same time, I'm so happy for James. And I feel horrible for wanting to steal the person he loves so much." she sniffled. "But... But I love you so much, too. And I couldn't help it."

"I'm sorry... That's all I can think to say." I said, crushed.

"Just take Nate and go." she said. "I'm going home. And don't follow me."

I took Nate out of the car and went inside. He was throwing a tantrum because he didn't want to leave her, which made me even more heartbroken. Once I got to the apartment, I saw that the car was gone.

"Where'd he go?" James asked as I sat with him- spaced out.

"Just downstairs." I said.

"You okay?" he asked, rubbing my arm lightly.

"I guess." I said. Actually, I felt like my heart had been ripped out.

"Where'd Rose go?"

"She left."

"Did you talk to her?" he asked sympathetically.

"Yeah. She was crying." I said absently. James let out a deep breath and he shook his head.

"Kendall... Is this gonna go on forever?"

"God, I hope not."

James wrapped his arms around me and put his head on my shoulder.

"I love you. More than- more than music. More than my hair. I'm your number one fan. You're the biggest thing in my life. Do you know how much it kills me when-"

"It kills me, too." I interrupted. "And from now on... It's just you and me. And this wedding. Okay?"

"Swear?"

"I swear." Somehow this felt like a lie.

"I love you." he grinned, kissing me roughly on the cheek.

"I love you more." I smiled, turning to him so he could kiss me on the lips. Suddenly I felt Nate climbing into my lap, signing for a kiss.

"Kiss?" I asked aloud.

He nodded and I giggled as I kissed him, then he kissed James and settled into my lap.

I knew it would be a while before Nate could understand the complexity of his family. His father was also his uncle. His uncle was also going to be his step-father. His mother was the sister of his uncle, who is the husband of his father, who would be considered his uncle if he wasn't Nate's father.

And to James, Nate was his nephew/step-son/real son, since they had half the same genes.

I think I will have Nate call James 'Uncle James'... 'Daddy' would be a little too far... Maybe. I dunno.

"I wanna have an autumn wedding." James said dreamily. "I'm thinking September."

"Are you KIDDING? Jamie, it's MAY!" I said in surprise.

"We can do it! All we need is tuxes, rings, a preacher, and a place to have it." James said simply.

"But you always used to talk about 'when you met the right girl' you'd have a huge extravagant wedding with doves and crazy decor. What happened to that?"

"That was before I was JAMES fucking DIAMOND. Before we were BIG TIME fucking RUSH."

"Mouth!" Carlos said, although Nate was nodding off in my lap.

"I'm sorry!" James said sarcastically. "Anyways, back then, I just longed to BE somebody- to get noticed. Now I long to be outta the spotlight- outta the magazines. I want something simple. Something that NOBODY gets pictures of other that people who are supposed to. I want a simple 'do you?' 'I do.' 'Do you?' 'I do.' 'You're married!'"

I smiled at the visualization of such a quick ceremony. I knew James really did want to have something big. He wanted the paparazzi to be there and for the question of "Kosie" or "Kames"? To be dead and nobody to wonder anymore. But this is also why he wanted it to be quick. He didn't want there to be time for me to change my mind... And honestly, neither did I.

"Are you sure?" I asked, unsure.

"As long as we're getting married- that's all the matters." he smiled, kissing my cheek. "I'm so excited."

* * *

**Okay. Guys, I need for real advice. Do I go straight to the wedding or make a fluff chapter? Problem is, with a fluff chapter, i have no idea what to put in it... other than planning the wedding. and even then there's not enough to make a whole chapter... so?**

**Please review!**


	15. James Loses It- Just a Little

"Daddy!" came Nate's high pitched voice as Rosie opened the door to the tuxedo shop and he spotted us waiting on them.

"Hey, bud!" I grinned, catching him and hugging him. It had been three months since we told everyone about our proposal and Nate knew quiet a bit of vocabulary now.

"You're LAAATE." James sang to Rosie under his breath as we were lead to the back to get fitted.

"Well SOMEONE didn't feed his own son before dropping him on me, so I had to stop and get a damn Happy Meal." Rosie grumbled. I pretended not to hear.

Carlos, Kendall, and Nate went first. Me, James, and Rosie sat on the floor watching as Nate loved looking at himself in all the mirrors as the man measured him.

"What d'you think about a kid?" James asked dreamily. I looked over at him, confused.

"I already have one of those."

"No- I mean you 'n me. To raise together from scratch." James giggled.

"I dunno if you know this, Honey, but neither of us have child-bearing parts." I snorted.

"But Rosie does."

Both mine and Rosie's heads snapped his way, eyes wide.

"Think about it! He would have my genes and your genes! AND we wouldn't have to worry about paying some lady to bear a child that we don't even know who the father is til it pops out! We've got the best surrogate mother we can find- right here." James grinned.

"Yeeeah... I think not." Rosie said.

"So don't haveta-" he cut off, looping his fingers into a circle and sliding a finger from his other hand into it. "There's PROFESSIONAL ways to do it."

"No WAY!" I said defensively.

"Well, there's always Katie." James said casually.

"How could you say that?" I squeaked. "She's fifteen years old!"

"She could be on Sixteen and Pregnant."

"James!"

"I'm kidding. But seriously. I wanna do this." James said, hazel eyes boring into mine then into Rosie's.

"Let's take one stressful thing at a time, kay?" I said uneasily.

"Babies aren't stressful." James smiled.

"Okay. YOU carry it around for the better part of a year." Rosie grumbled.

James and I got fitted for our tuxes. James had a white one and wanted us both to have white ones, but we both agreed white wasn't my color and I'd get a stain on it. So I got a black tux.

As I was fitted a little later, I thought. Thought about what James said.

Have another kid with Rosie?

It WAS the most efficient way. The baby would have my genes AND James's- and no gay couple could ask for more.

So... We'd do it with a turkey baster? I laughed a little at the thought.

But turkey basters take away the fun of everything...

I couldn't help but remember what it was like... The "creation" or Nate, if you will.

Remember the feel of her petite ribs in my arms- prickled with goosebumps. The smell of her neck as I breathed into it- trying not to scream for fear of waking James next door. The sound of her light, quick breaths mixed with my slow deep ones. The taste of her lips still on mine from just moments ago- when we gave up kissing in exchange for something better. The way I kept glancing at the door- afraid that James would walk in any moment- and the way Rosie would bring my face back to hers, insisting that I not ruin the mood with my worrying.

And oh, that finish...

My memory was flashed away as a pin stuck me in the leg.

"Sorry, Shoog." the woman laughed, rubbing the spot gingerly. "Didn't mean to."

And then I realized what I was thinking about and wanted to rip my hair out. No. I couldn't think about that anymore. Couldn't even think about Rosie...

And the way she had the perfect figure... The perfect hair... The perfect smile... The perfect eyes...

SHUT UP!

"Oh, look how cute you are!" came a squeal and my head snapped the other way to see James standing there in his own pinned up start of a suit, grinning. I let out a silent breath of relief that my thoughts were taken away from me.

"Well it's nowhere near done." the woman grumbled, standing up. "But I think we got this all ready."

James grinned and looked up at me from the ground, tugging on my fingers playfully.

"Don't think we could just get married in these exact suits, do ya?" he grinned.

"I'm down if you are." I smiled back.

* * *

The wedding was now only a week away. I was excited, yet nervous, like anyone else who gets married.

James was in the shower of our apartment when Rosie came in and Nate ran to get his toys.

"He INSISTED on coming here." she grumbled.

"It's cool. He can stay the night." I said as Nate came up and tugged on my shirt.

"JUICE!" he demanded. I groaned, picked him up by his hands, carried him over to the kitchen, sat him on the counter, and gave him a violent kiss on the cheek, making him giggle.

"What happens to Nate's last name when you change yours?" she asked, coming into the kitchen. I thought about this a second and shrugged.

"Guess he'll be a Diamond after all." I laughed as I got out a sippy cup and apple juice. I poured it and screwed on the top of the cup.

"What do you want, Nate? Say it." I quizzed, holding the cup out of his reach.

"Juice!"

"What kind?"

Nate looked at me helplessly, although I knew he had learned the word.

"Apple. Say apple juice?" I said.

"Apple juice." he said and happily took the juice. I took him from the counter and he ran off.

"So what the hell is all this about James wanting me to have your child? AGAIN?" she asked suddenly.

"It's a crazy idea he has in his mind. Thinks that if we DO, then me and him raise the kid ourselves, it's like the kid is ours. But... I dunno."

"I WOULDN'T be so apposed to it. He's right- if you guys want kids, I'm the key. But the thing is... I wouldn't be allowed to be his mommy. I'd be Aunt Rosie... And that disturbs me."

"I know..."

"I mean, I LOVE taking care of Nate. And to sit back and watch you two raise my child someday, I just don't know."

"I get it, Rose. I really do... But it's something that James wants. And the more I think about it, it's something I want, too." I murmured. "But we can't do it without your consent, OBVIOUSLY. So when it comes down to it, it's all up to you."

Rosie sighed miserably and left the kitchen to slump over the couch.

"It's bad enough that you take my virginity, IMPREGNATE me, leave me for my brother, buy me EVERYTHING, get me to fall for you All Over Again, AND get engaged to my brother after I let you know of my secret adoration. But NOW you want me to go through nine months of hell just so you can steal my child and not let me raise it." she said, staring at the ceiling dramatically.

"It's not like that!" I laughed, sitting with Nate to play with his monster trucks. "It's not like you won't ever get to see him or anything."

Suddenly, James came in in his PJ's, hair wet.

"You guys talking about my future children?" he asked casually.

"Yeah." she said. "And I can't believe that you want your HUSBAND to PURPOSEFULLY IMPREGNATE your BABY SISTER so you can STEAL the baby."

"It's not that crazy, Rose!" he said. "I'm sure it happens all the time."

"Yeah, okay." she said, rolling her eyes.

* * *

**So this was an eh chapter. I just kinda wanted to introduce the new concept. **

**So I'm thinking four to five more chapters. I'm balls deep now, guys. I can't just STOP! Sorry if this ends up being a long story... I get carried away sometimes. :D**


	16. Wedding

I grinned as I fixed Nate's little baby blue bow tie, sitting on the ground. So I was in an expensive tuxedo, in a side room at the church that I was to get married at in just a short while. But I was also extremely anxious, and I knew that Nate always calmed me down. So I sat with him.

I didn't know why I was so nervous. I loved James. I wanted to marry him. So WHY did I feel this way?

I hated to think that it could even POSSIBLY be because of Rosie. How she's been extra moody lately and I KNEW for a fact that she wasn't on her period. I knew I was hurting her- which killed me- but it was time to move on. No- these butterflies in my stomach were completely normal. Every groom gets them, right?

"Sad?" Nate asked, and our matching eyes locked.

"Not sad. Excited." I said.

"Oh!" Nate squealed with a grin. "Nate, too!"

I grinned at his absence of knowledge about pronouns and hugged him tight.

Suddenly the door opened and Nate and I both looked up to see my mom slip in.

"Boy, Nate-o, I swear you're an exact clone of your daddy." she grinned and swooped down to kiss him, then me, on the forehead. "Looked just like you when he was a baby. SPEAKING of your daddy, Kendall Donald, do you know how much that tuxedo costed? Get off of the floor!"

"I DO know how much it costed, Mom. I paid for it." I smirked, getting to my feet and taking Nate up with me.

Mom rolled her eyes and began brushing my butt off.

"Where's Joanna?" she said nervously. Logan's mom was to take Nate and make sure he did his job as ring bearer at the right time.

"Not late! Right on time!" Joanna said quickly as she slipped in the door.

"Be good, little boy. Kay?" I said to Nate. His wondrous eyes turned to mine and he grinned. I grinned back and kissed him roughly on the nose, then put him on the ground. Joanna took his hand and lead him out.

"My baby boy- getting married. Just wait til YOUR baby boy's getting married." my mom sighed after I turned to her. She began adjusting my clothes and hair.

"Nah- Nate'll always be wild. No girl'll ever go for it." I laughed.

"I used to think the same thing about you." she admitted. "And now look."

"Well, you were somewhat right." I said. "It's not EXACTLY a woman I'm getting married to. Even if he IS girly sometimes."

"Kendall? It's time." came Mrs. Garcia's voice through the door. Mom took in a deep breath and looked up at me.

"Don't cry, Mom." I groaned. "Please?"

"I can't help it." she sighed, getting on her tip-toes to kiss me on the cheek. We looped arms and left- making our way to the chapel as music began playing. At the end of the isle, I kissed mom's cheek, she went to sit in the front row, and I took my position on the platform to wait for James. Logan and Katie waited on my side, Carlos and Rosie on the other. I noted how great the baby blue complimented Rosie's tan skin, the way it did James's.

Finally another song started and James started down the isle, his mother on his arm. He was grinning ear to ear in his white tux and I was surprised to see that all of his beloved hair was gone. I hadn't seen him since three days ago... I guessed that's when he got it cut. All gone. Instead of falling over his forehead and eyebrows, it was cropped to just a few inches and pushed back. His cowlick caused a wave in his bangs.

Suddenly his eyes locked with mine and all my anxiety disappeared. I raised my brows, as if to say "wow." and he smiled bashfully and looked down. At the end of the isle, he kissed his mother and walked up the steps to stand before me.

"Where's your hair?" I whispered. He smiled and shrugged.

"It's more efficient this way." he said.

"I like it." I said and his smile widened.

The preacher guy talked. And talked. And talked.

We repeated some stuff.

We said our vows. James's were long and heartfelt, but mine were short yet effective.

Nate brought us the rings. James put my silver ring on my finger, I put his on his. We said "I do" and suddenly I was a married man. James grinned and wrapped his arms around my waist, kissing me. Everyone cheered. Yadda yadda.

* * *

The reception was great. We had the usual- fish or chicken. Mom, Carlos, and Rosie gave toasts. Nate sat on his knees in his chair next to me and I cut his food for him. Yeah- it was my wedding reception. But I still loved taking care of him.

James and I had the first dance.

Then the next song, everyone joined in. James danced with his mom and I danced with mine. Then he danced with Camille, I danced with Rosie.

Her eyeliner was slightly smeared and I fixed it.

"Rosie, have you been crying?" I asked as she wrapped her arms around my neck- mine around her small waist.

"A little."

"Why?"

"I guess I should be over this by now, right?" she sighed, laying her cheek on my shoulder. "But you just stick in my heart like a fucking... I dunno. And I'm so happy for you and Jamie, and I love you both, but that's just the thing. I love you. And I know this is the WORST place to talk about this, but I couldn't lie to you about why I was crying."

I sighed and was silent.

"I'm sorry, Rosie. Really, I am." I said.

"You shouldn't be. It's not your fault and there's nothing you can do about it." she said.

"Rosie, I'm married now. But it doesn't mean I don't still love you a lot. You'll ALWAYS have a place in my heart. As the mother of my child. The holder of my virginity. My very first love. My sister in law. My best lady friend. Holder of secrets that James doesn't even know about." I said. "I know it's not the same love you have for me, but I hope it counts for something."

I hated to think that I was lying... Forced the thought from my mind.

"Can we go somewhere? I gotta tell you 'n James something." Rosie said, pulling away from me, hazel eyes innocent.

"Everything okay?"

"Yeah."

We collected James and went to the back hallway.

"What's going on?" James asked, confused.

"Nothing. I just wanted to make an announcement." she said, looking back and forth between us.

"Okay." I said.

"My wedding present to you guys... It's all I could afford, yet it's the best gift I could possible give." she said. "Guys- I'm gonna have your baby."

James squealed and hugged Rosie- twirling her in a circle.

"Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU, Rosie." he said excitedly, kissing her cheeks. "I'm so excited- as soon as we get back from the honeymoon we'll do it."

Rosie grinned and I hugged her tightly.

"It really is the best gift possible." I said and she nodded.

"I decided that I was being selfish and if my big brother and his new husband want me to have their kid, who am I to turn them down?" she said. James smiled and hugged her again.

* * *

We flew to Hawaii that night- James sleeping on my shoulder. I looked down at our left hands tangled together- matching silver rings on the same fingers. James was also admiring this before he fell asleep. My mind wondered to Rosie... As it always did.

_Kendall, you dumbass. This gorgeous man sleeping on your shoulder is head over heals for you. YOU'RE MARRIED TO THIS FUCKING GOD OF A MAN. You're gonna have a child with him soon. And you keep looking back at Rosie. Rosie is your past. Look at James- such a bright past, present, AND future. Your life is amazing. Be thankful and look at the big picture._

I smiled at this thought and laid my cheek on his newly cropped hair.

* * *

"What am I supposed to grab onto?" I asked as James and I were in the huge bed the next night. We had just arrived and the sun was setting.

So we were doing gross stuff- like most honeymooners do. And NORMALLY, see, I gripped onto his long hair during the process. But now it was gone.

"Sorry- guess I shouldn't have cut it before the honeymoon, right?" he giggled, nose in my neck as he did his masculine part in the love making process.

We progressed in the activity. I knew James was about to orgasm because he always lifts himself up above me and thrusted faster.

"Hey Jame?" I grunted. He grunted back in response, eyes closed in concentration, perfect teeth biting his lower lip.

"We're married." I said simply. A second later, James's face turned to the ceiling and he let out a long groan as he shot his bottled up warmth into me and his thrusts slowed down.

"I know." he sighed with a smile. "Isn't it great?"

He plopped down on the bed beside me and stared at the mirror above the bed and laughed.

"You weren't lookin' at my butt, were you?" he teased.

"I'm ALWAYS lookin' at your butt." I laughed, rolling over to cuddle up to him as his breathing slowed.

"See those handsome people up there?" he asked, pointing to the ceiling. I looked up there, of course, to see us.

"Yeah."

"Aren't they a fine married couple?"

"Beautiful, I'd say." I smiled.

* * *

**So there's two things I can't stand writing. Childbirth and weddings. Sorry if both sucked in this story!**

**AND sorry that I got just a bit Rated R there at the end. Tried to keep this story kinda clean, but I wanted to show how happy James was to be married and how Kendall was finally getting the big picture.**

**Please review! :D**

**ooooh and if anyone is interested in doing a collab with me, FREAKING PM ME! I'm doing one with someone, but she's still working on chapter one. HOPEFULLY it'll be done by the time this story ends so i can tell you guys where to find it. So yeah. I wanna do a collab with someone! Don't have to have an idea already, just PM me and we can work it out! It'll be fun! :)**


	17. Kendall Plants a Seed

"It's all a very simple procedure." Dr. Hill said to James, me, and Rosie. He was in charge of the pregnancy for our new child, too. "We just need a semen sample from Mr. Knight, then we'll just- put it right in there. You'll come back in a few weeks and we'll make sure it worked."

"Simple enough." Rosie mumbled.

"Hey- just cause you don't get to do it with my husband doesn't mean you gotta be all negative." James said, thinking he was joking but Rosie and I knew he was really more right than he knew.

"Okay- here's a cup. It's the third door on the left, help yourself to anything in there." Dr. Hill said, casually handing me a clear cup with a smile. I gave James a weirded out look and shivered, making my way to the room.

The room was full of dirty magazines, movies, toys... I was extremely grossed out by the thought of how many men have jacked off in this room. Besides that, I had no idea what I was supposed to USE. I wasn't turned on my sweaty men hunched over each other... Gross... But man on woman was kinda weird, too. This was a lot of pressure- this one time will determine the rest of my life. AND there are people waiting on me.

Despite all this, I somehow got a sample. I just... I don't wanna talk about it. It wasn't a high point of my life.

So anyway, I brought it back and Rosie was taken away. We were allowed to go with her, but we didn't really see anything. Rosie had her feet in stirrups, a sheet over her lap, as they used, basically a turkey baster (because what else?) to shoot it up in her.

"Yeah... That's not as satisfying as the first time." she said as they did it. "Guys, its barely warm anymore!"

"Okay- ew." James said. "Don't talk about... That."

"Like you don't know what I'm talking about." Rosie smirked. James's eyes grew wide and I just laughed at what she said.

* * *

We were waiting anxiously in Dr. Hill's office as he analyzed the results just two weeks after this. Rosie was POSITIVE that she was pregnant. She insisted that she felt extremely pregnant, PLUS that I had "good sperm" and she had "good eggs that were meant to be fertilized by Kendall Knight's good sperm".

James, however, was convinced that it didn't work. He said he "just had a feeling", which he said all the time, but his "feelings" were rarely ever accurate. He also told me he sort of HOPED it didn't work. I had told him about how much difficulty I had in getting a sample and he thought it would be bad luck for love not to be behind it. He wanted to start over- maybe take the cup home and get the sample himself.

But I didn't know what to think. I wanted this baby A LOT by now- I knew he would be beautiful, like Nate, and perfect. And I was excited to raise him with James. So I HOPED it worked, and didn't see why it wouldn't work, but just didn't have any idea if it did or not.

"I think it's a girl." Rosie said to James and I as we waited.

"It probably doesn't even HAVE a gender yet." I laughed. "It's probably just a little blob." I secretly wanted the baby to be another boy- another perfect clone of me to teach hockey someday.

"Kendall, don't you EVER call her 'it'." she said sternly. "Everyone knows that."

I snorted and rolled my eyes at her.

"There's probably nothing even IN there, Rose." James said simply. "Kendall was under a lot of pressure when he did his deed- it was probably just a blank."

"They TEST it before they shoot it up there!" Rosie said. "And of course there's something in there. I can feel it. Motherly instinct, Jamie."

"Then how come HE doesn't feel it?" I snorted. She giggled and punched me playfully.

"Looks like the baby is coming along perfectly." Dr. Hill said finally.

"What did I TELL you?" Rosie said, rubbing it in James's face. James grinned and looked at me, eyes full of light. I grinned back.

"However, we're going to have to keep a close eye on this one." Dr. Hill said. "We don't want him to be born with the same handicap as your last one."

* * *

"I like Maxine. Or Alexis. What about Emma? Caroline? Alison? Abigail? Kaitlin?" Rosie said, laying lazily on my couch, Nate sitting, facing her, on her lower ribs. She was only a month pregnant, so she didn't show.

"What if it's a boy?" I asked, laying on the floor, poking Nate playfully with my socked foot.

"It won't be."

"What if it IS?"

"Haven't really thought of names for boys." she said thoughtfully.

"Alexander. Joshua. William. Lukas. Jacob-" I began.

"Nate!" Nate squealed excitedly.

"We already got one of those!" Rosie grinned, tickling Nate. He giggled mischievously, his blonde curls bouncing. Then she turned her head to me. "Sounds like you've thought too much about this."

"I gotta admit- I'm hoping for a boy."

"What, so I can be one of those miserable mothers who is stuck with entirely boys in her life? I want a GIRL, who I can put in cute dresses and make her hair in pigtails." she said.

"You could do the hair thing with Nate! Just look at that mop!" I joked. Nate giggled, scrunching up his nose. He had gotten really good at understanding words and talking, but he didn't talk much unless something was really interesting.

"You DO need a haircut soon, don't cha?" Rosie said, biting her lip. Nate's eyes grew wide and he shook his head, only proving her point as his hair swished back and forth.

"It's okay. So does Daddy." Rosie said, shooting me a look. "He's getting shaggy, isn't he, Nate?"

I stuck out my tongue at her as Nate laughed some more. This time he toppled over into Rosie, who groaned as his head hit her collarbone.

"I hate to say it, but you're getting a little too big for being rough with Mommy." she said to him.

"You won't be able to pretty soon, Nate." I said. "She'll have a baby in her belly and you can't be rough with her."

"I ALREADY have a baby in my belly." she said smartly. Nate sat up, eyes wide.

Rosie grinned and sat up- Nate on her legs.

"Right there." she said, pointing to her lower stomach. "That's where your baby sister is growing."

"You ate her?" Nate squeaked. Great- she even had NATE believing it was a girl. But I knew that once he understood what was going on, he'd want a baby brother to play with.

"No!" Rosie laughed, kissing his hair at his cuteness. "All babies start off in their mommy's bellies. You were there for almost a year."

Nate's mouth dropped open.

"How did she get there?" he asked. Rosie's eyes widened and she laughed.

"Um- Daddy had to plant a seed in my belly." she said. I snorted.

"Did you get cut up?"

"Nope. Daddy was REALLY careful."

Nate's eyes dropped to her stomach and he touched it. If I could have taken a picture of that moment, I would have made it my screensaver for everything- forever.

"When will she come out?" he asked.

"Let's see- eight more months." she said, even though she knew he didn't know how long that was. "Just a little while after your birthday."

Our new baby was to be a June baby.

"And I can play with her?"

"Not til she's big enough." Rosie said.

"Will she share a room with me?" Nate asked.

"She'll live here with Daddy and Uncle Jamie." Rosie said. "But she'll live in the room you have here."

"Will she have a room at your house?"

"No, baby."

"Why?"

"Cause Daddy and Uncle Jamie are gonna take care of her."

"So... You won't be her mommy?"

"Of course I will... But... But..." Rosie said, trying to come up with an explanation.

"Nate, Mommy doesn't have room at her apartment for ANOTHER baby besides you." I said, cutting in. "So me and Uncle Jamie are gonna keep her here and take care of her for Mommy."

"Oh." Nate said. I could tell he still didn't understand, but he rarely ever questioned what I said. He just trusted me.

Rosie looked at me and gave me a pitiful look.

"Will you miss her?" Nate asked her.

"Of course I'll miss her. But I'll see her a lot." Rosie said.

"Oh."

He laid his head gently on Rosie's collarbone and looked at me with those eyes that matched mine. He soon fell asleep, and so did Rosie.


	18. Getting Excited

"I feel so pregnant." Rosie groaned, staring at the ceiling of Dr. Hill's office.

"Good." James said, reaching over to cover her whole stomach with a hand.

"Can we get food after this?" she asked him.

"Yeah." he shrugged.

Rosie was five months pregnant, and the baby was already causing crazy cravings, urination patterns, mood swings, etc. Nowadays she had this crazy theory that she wasn't only carrying a girl, but TWO girls. Twins. I just prayed to God that she was wrong.

We were supposed to find out the sex of the baby today. Any moment now, actually.

"I havta piss." she groaned.

"Course you do." I laughed.

"It's YOUR daughters. Stomping on my bladder." she grumbled.

"Son." I said. "ONE son."

"Don't say that!" James said. "Guys, you can't fight over this. It doesn't even MATTER what the sex is. Or quantity."

James wanted a girl that he could call "Punkin" and "Baby Girl" and "Angel" and dress up in cute clothes. But he wouldn't mind a boy to truck around with, either. He didn't think it was twins, though.

"Mister Knight?" Dr. Hill called. We stood.

"It's Diamond now." I said as we followed him.

"Sorry- keep forgetting." he laughed. "Just a band of Diamonds now, are we?"

We were lead into the ultra-sound room and Rosie was laid down on the table.

"And you're sure you want to know?" he confirmed, turning out the lights. "Some families want it to be a surprise."

"No- we NEED to stop the war between sexes. Let's do it." Rosie said.

"War?"

"I'm convinced it's twins. Girls. Kendall wants another boy- just one. James won't make up his mind. So we need it settled." Rosie explained.

"Alrighty then." he smiled, squeezing the freezing-looking jelly on her bare stomach. We watched as strange images appeared on the screen, unable to decipher what everything was. Finally he looked at us.

"Well?" James asked impatiently.

"Only one baby- for sure." he said. Rosie made a fart sound in disapproval- I think she secretly hoped that she would be able to keep one of them if they were twins. "But I don't see a penis. It's a girl."

"HA!" Rosie sneered at me. I grinned. Sure- it wasn't a boy. But I was still happy all the same.

He pointed out the main silhouette of the baby. She had Rosie's nose- yet another LUCKY offspring- but that's about all we could make out. The jelly was wiped from Rosie's stomach and James and I left because they started getting boring with their vagina talk and vitamins and Rosie's crazy hormone problems.

We stood outside and James's eyes were shining as he took both my hands in his.

"We're having a girl." he grinned.

"Just one- thank god." I said.

"It would be fun to have twins."

"Yeah, OKAY, Jamie." I snorted.

"Well anyway, aren't you excited?"

"Ecstatic." I said.

"Really?"

"Really."

"Me too." he said, kissing my forehead. "She'll be perfect."

Finally Rosie came out, followed by Dr. Hill.

"Okay, you boys take care of her." he said, patting Rosie's shoulder. "She's carrying precious cargo."

Rosie ate through two double cheeseburgers and a large fry with a milkshake from McDonald's on the way home. Then when we got home she asked James to make her a sandwich, but fell asleep before he could.

Nate, just back from Carlos's, stood before his mother's bulging tummy as she slept peacefully on the couch.

I stood on my knees behind him, watching as he held out a hand above the bulge.

"Watcha doin, Nate?" I asked.

"Nothin'."

"You know what we found out today?" I asked.

"What?"

"That the baby in Mommy's tummy really is a girl." I said, reaching out to put a hand on the hard bump. He reached out and I moved my hand over so he could touch it, too. He didn't touch it much anymore since she started moving.

"What's her name?" he asked me.

"Haven't decided yet."

I felt James behind me and he stroked my hair. I looked up and grinned at him.

"I've been thinking of names." he said. Nate looked up at him, too.

"I like Kaitlyn." he said. "We could call her Kate or Katie."

"But we already HAVE a Katie. My sister." I said.

"Oh- yeah. Okay, that's out." he said. "There's Emily. Could be called Emmy or Emma or Em."

"I like that one." Rosie murmured sleepily.

"How-?"

"Like I wouldn't wake up to being rubbed like a Buddha." she said. "Emily. That's good."

"I love it." I agreed.

"There's also Abigail." James said.

"No. Emily." I said, then turned to Rosie. She nodded, and her hazel eyes looked up at James.

"Her name is Emily. No debate."

"Middle name?" I asked.

"Emily Maxine." Rosie suggested.

"We could call her Max." James said.

"It doesn't flow right." I said.

"Okay- Emily Nicole?" Rosie asked.

"Maybe." James said.

"I think her name should be Emily Rosemary. After her biological mother." I said.

"Oh, please." Rosie said.

"Says the woman who named her son after her brother." I said smartly. "C'mon, Rose. It's a pretty name and it's significant."

She bit her lip and looked up at James, who was smiling and nodding.

"I DO think it's a pretty name. Emily Rosemary Diamond." she said.

"It's gorgeous." James said.

"Okay. Guess it's settled." I said. "Emily Rosemary it is."

"EMD." James smirked.

* * *

**Sorry it's short. Trying to wrap this story up, BUT if u liked this one, I already have another out. It's called Making It Up and it's like this one except not really. Long story short, Carlos has a kid. But there's no slash- SORRY! :D**

**Review**


	19. Helpless

"I think I'm sick, Jamie." Rosie said, touching her stomach. We were at a pizza place with the whole crew, but Rosie wasn't eating, which was strange because she was 8 months pregnant.

"Why?" he asked through a mouthful of pizza.

"Cause I haven't been able to keep anything down all day." she said. "I threw everything up. AND I have this crazy migraine."

James's eyes widened and he put down the pizza.

"What? Why didn't you say anything before?" he squeaked.

"I thought it was just morning sickness... But I have zero appetite. And... Never mind."

"Rosemary Lynn you tell me." he said, wiping his mouth. "WHAT never mind?"

Rosie's eyes dropped and she shook her head.

"Rose!" I demanded across from her, between Nate and Logan.

"I bled a lot this morning- it was like a period, but worse. And Emily hasn't moved a lot today." she said softly. "Which is weird."

James pitched his head in his hands, absorbing the shock. I just stared at Rosie. Nobody else heard the conversation- they were all having their own.

"We're going to the ER." James finally said.

"I bet it's normal- not a big deal." Rosie said with a wave.

"And what if it isn't?" James snapped, looking at her defensively. "What if my daughter is DEAD?"

"She's not dead." Rosie said quietly.

"Kendall?" James asked, head snapping my way. He rarely ever called me Kendall, like Rosie when we dated and even now. They called me Kenny.

"I think we need to go." I said with finality. "It could be serious."

"I know my body, guys. It's whatever." Rosie said.

"It'll be fine." I said, then turned to Logan.

"Guys, will you watch Nate for us?" I asked as I began scooting away.

"What? Where're you going?" Camille asked in surprise.

"My daughter is dying." James said, pulling Rosie out of the booth. I gave Nate a quick kiss before Logan took his hand and gave me a quizzical look.

* * *

Rosie was wheeled immediately into a maternity wing and laid in a bed.

"This is WAY overdone." she sighed.

James sat at her side, facing her, hands on her belly.

"C'mon, baby. Gimme a little kick." James pleaded.

"Jamie! She's not DEAD." Rosie insisted.

James pressed his ear to her stomach and closed his eyes in concentration.

"C'mon, baby girl." he begged. "ANYTHING."

Rosie thumped his head and he shot her a look.

"Emily TOLD me to do that. Said 'Tell that dipshit that I'm not DEAD!'" she said smartly.

Suddenly a doctor came out and Rosie explained all the things she told us, plus a little more than we wanted to hear, all the while acting like it was no big deal.

The doctor pased around for a while, James's eyes watching him intently the whole time. The doctor then looked at everything... Down there... And wrote something down. THEN he hurried out.

"Thanks for the consensus." Rosie grumbled, flinging her feet over the edge of the bed. Suddenly MORE doctors came in, talked for a long time, and Rosie was told to lay back down. Stethoscopes were pressed to her stomach, blood pressure was taken, and vital signs were checked. Mine and James's questions were ignored as Rosie was put in a wheelchair and we followed them to another room.

"The child isn't doing well." a nurse explained as Rosie was laid down in another bed. Immediately IV's and heart monitors were hooked up to Rosie. "Something failed in its system and it nearly died. But it recuperated... Not doing so well now, though. We have to do an emergency C-section."

Rosie's head snapped to the nurse in a panic.

"MY DAUGHTER IS DEAD?" she squeaked.

"No. But she may not make it if we don't get her out ASAP." the nurse said. Rosie was flipped over and a needle was shoved in her spine.

"Only one of you can go in with her." the doctor said in a hurry.

"You go." I immediately said to James.

"Are you sure?" he asked, eyes serene.

Suddenly James's hand was grabbed and he was pulled away as Rosie was rolled out of the room in the bed.

* * *

I had to wait in the waiting room for only about twenty minutes before I was retrieved and taken to the intensive care nursery. James was towering over a glass case, staring down, tears streaking his face. I got closer and touched his back. He looked down at me as I looked down at the baby in the case.

She had tubes below her nose and was really tiny, but looked healthy.

"She's alive." I smiled.

"That's not Emily." James said with heartbreaking sadness in his voice. "We can't see Emily for a long time... She's still not doing good."

"But she's alive, right?" I asked.

"Last I saw. But- but they dunno how much they can do for her." James said, tears spilling from his eyes. I shook my head in disbelief and brought his forehead down to rest on my shoulder and I held him for a long time. I found myself crying. Numb, but crying. Shocked, but crying.

"What if she doesn't make it?" James sniffled.

"She'll make it." I said, stroking the back of his hair. "Don't even consider the possibility that she won't. Where's Rose?"

"I dunno. I was sent away." James said and he tensed up me.

"Rose is okay, right?" I asked with panic, pulling his face away to look at him. He was crying harder now.

"I don't KNOW, Kendall." James snapped. There it was again- KENDALL. "I think she's in surgery... Cause when they took the baby out then her heart rate and blood pressure went all high and apparently something else happened. They were putting a mask over her face like they were putting her to sleep when they made me leave, but they didn't tell me anything about what's going on."

"It's okay." I said to both of us, as I wiped away his tears and hugged him again.

"What if I lose me daughter AND my baby sister?" James sobbed.

"It's not gonna happen." I said again to both of us. "They're gonna take care of both of them. And we'll see them soon."

"James Diamond please report to the emergency maternity unit room 4A as soon as possible." came a voice over the intercom. James hurried out of my grip and to the door, but I was right beside him as we ran to the room, but were stopped just at the beginning of the hall.

"Mister Diamond?" a voice asked as we hurried inside.

"Yeah." he said, stopping.

"We need your blood." the doctor said. "The paperwork says that you are AB positive like your sister and we don't have near enough to give her in storage. It's a matter of less than ten minutes before we start losing her."

"So hurry the hell up and TAKE it." James snapped. He was taken away immediately.

So what did I do?

I sat in the hallway and cried. Cried like a baby. I couldn't lose my new child. Couldn't lose the mother of my son and daughter. But I couldn't do anything about it. So I sobbed in a ball in the emergency maternity unit hallway.

* * *

**Review! :)**

**And remember. If you're mean, I have the power to kill some people off. So don't be mean about this chapter!**


	20. Relief

I finally stopped crying. Twenty minutes and I was uncrumpled, taking deep breaths, staring at the ceiling.

"Daddy!" I heard a yell and my head snapped the other way to see Nate happily running to me. I smiled a little as he sat in my lap and laid his head against my chest.

"How come you're sad?" he asked me, immediately mellowing down when he saw the tears on my cheeks.

I didn't know what to tell him.

He's almost four- how do you tell and four year old that his mom AND baby sister might be flatlining right now? DO you tell him?

"Mommy and Emily are in trouble." I said, my arms tight around him. "They aren't doing good."

Logan shot Camille a look and she picked Nate up off of me.

"C'mon, Nate. Let's go get a snack." she said before leaving.

Carlos and Logan sat on either side of me.

"What's goin' on?" Carlos asked. "Everyone okay?"

"Not even close." I sighed. "They said Emily was almost dead, so they did a C-Section. As soon as she was out, Rosie started going downhill. So they did surgery. It musta been bad cause they're drawing blood from James right now. And... And I don't know if either of them will make it though."

Logan put an arm around my shoulders comfortingly.

"They'll be fine. We're in LA- home of like all celebrities. There's good doctors here and they won't let them go." he said. "Especially since they're associated with you 'n James. It sounds brutal, but it's true."

Suddenly James came sprinting down the hall, making my heart pound. He was bearing news...

"Get your cute little ass up- we can go see Emily!" he said, jerking me up and down the hall.

"Jame- how're you running? You just got blood drawn!" I said as we ran.

"It's really fucking hard." he said. "But I don't care!"

We had to stop at the door of the Emergency Infant Care room and tell the nurse why we were there. We were brought in and taken to a little glass case with "Emily Diamond" written on a white board outside of it.

James quickly went to it and towered over it, glowering over the tiny child inside. I wondered if Emily was considered a premi.

The sleeping child was really small, but not nearly as small as the others. She had thin golden hair on her head and was in nothing but a little diaper and tubes under her nose and in her tiny arms.

"She's- she's so perfect." I found myself saying. James put an arm around me and squeezed me tight.

"She's more stable than we anticipated." the nurse said. "She should be allowed out of this case within the next few days, but for now she needs to be warm and fed oxygen constantly."

"So she'll be okay?" James asked.

"Definitely." she nodded before turning to attend to another baby.

"Hear that? Our daughter's gonna be okay." James said happily to me, kissing my temple.

"What about Rose?" I asked absently.

"I'm gonna go see if I can't get some answers." he said, letting go of me. "But I'll be back."

I stood there for another ten minutes before the door opened and Nate, holding a bag of animal crackers, and Logan came over to me.

"Oh, wow." Logan marveled.

I bent to pick Nate up.

"That's your baby sister, Nate." I murmured. He looked down and touched the glass.

"How come she's in a cage?" he asked me.

"Cause she almost died." I said. "And right now to stay alive she needs to be kept warm and have oxygen in the air all the time. But we'll be able to hold her really soon."

Nate gave the baby a troubled look.

"Where's Mommy?" he asked.

"I dunno- Uncle Jamie just left to see what's going on." I said, and just then there was a hand on my back and James appeared right next to me.

"She's outta surgery." he said.

"And?"

"They SAID she's okay, but I wasn't allowed in to see her." he explained. "They said she's asleep."

Suddenly Emily stirred in the case and let out a shrill scream. A nurse hurried to the case and told us that we needed to leave so that she could do this and that, so we were pushed out of the room.

"Now what?" I muttered.

"We sit. And wait." James shrugged, sitting on the cold floor. I sat next to him and Nate sat in my lap, eating his crackers. James and I stole quite a few- we were starved.

It wasn't long until everyone was asleep on me. Logan and James had their heads on my shoulders and Nate looked dead, slumped over in my arms. I wanted to go to sleep, too, because it was almost ten, but I knew someone had to be awake. I wondered when Camille was, but Carlos came and sat across from me, playing footsie with me to keep me awake. He told me that Camille went home.

Finally, I decided to get up. Carlos took my place and I wondered the halls, trying to find Rosie's room. I finally did and I sneaked in.

I sat beside her bed. She didn't look good- tubes in her arms and under her nose, hair pulled back, bags beneath her eyes, monitors on her fingers. I shook my head and took her hand in both of mine.

It scared the shit outta me when her hazel eyes opened and looked over at me.

"Oh my god." I breathed after nearly jumping out of my skin. "You're awake."

She managed a tiny smile.

"How's Emma?" she asked weakly. I smiled and stroked her hand with my thumb.

"She's great." I said. Rosie smiled a little bit bigger. "She's in a glass case that keeps her warm and gives her air and stuff. The nurse said that she should be able to be let out of the case in a few days."

"What does she look like?" Rosie managed.

"Gorgeous, Rosie. Absolutely perfect." I grinned. "Has golden hair as bright as the sun. But that's about all I could tell."

Rosie nodded and smiled.

"So how do YOU feel?" I asked.

"Like shit." she said. "I don't even have a clue as to what happened."

"You know that Emily almost died. But when they took her out, your blood pressure went all crazy and all this stuff, so they put you under and did surgery. And I guess it went okay cause you're alive and talking now." I explained.

"I'm so glad." she smiled.

"Me too." I said and kissed her hand.

* * *

Three days later, Rosie was able to be propped up.

And Emily was rolled to her room. Only James and I were there at the time.

"She's so pretty." Rosie smiled, reaching over and touching the glass.

"Do you want to hold her?" the nurse asked.

All of our eyes lit up.

"She's stable enough. She's already been out twice and did fine." the nurse said and opened the case casually.

We watched as Emily was placed in Rosie's arms. James and I sat on either side of her and watched as Rosie lit up with excitement.

"Hi, baby." she murmured excitedly. She reached up and stroked the child's cheek and suddenly Emily's little eyes opened.

"What color?" Rosie asked. She was unable to really move.

James bent down to look closely at Emily's little eyes.

"They're Kendall color." he beamed. Rosie grinned and looked up at me.

"We make the prettiest babies." she said. Emily was taken from Rosie by James and Rosie laid her head on my shoulder sleepily.

"Hi there, baby girl." James murmured, stroking his daughter's cheek. "Welcome to the world."

Emily looked up at him and her little eyes lit up along with James's.

Rosie and I had to do a bunch of paperwork, and I still hadn't held my daughter as the whole gang, including Mom and Katie, showed up and she was passed around. Finally we were done with all the papers and I demanded the right to hold her. She was immediately put in my arms.

She was smaller than Nate was when he was born. But then again, Nate was born on time. She was warm through the blanket and her tiny hands clutched and unclutched unconsciously.

I grinned down at the sleeping child.

"She's got a Diamond nose instead mine." I said. "Lucky kid."

Rosie laughed. I said this about Nate so long ago, too. Rosie and James always said they liked my nose, but I couldn't help but be grateful that my children didn't have it. No, my unique eye color was enough for me.

"What d'you think she'll be like?" Carlos asked. "Hyper like Nate?"

"Hm- I dunno." I said thoughtfully, looking up at James. "She seems really calm... Maybe she'll be the thoughtful one."

James smiled and shrugged.

"Maybe."

Emily was taken from me to go back in the case. This time she was rolled back to the normal Nursery, which made me happy. They said we could take her home within the next week. Rose, however, wasn't so lucky. She was to stay in the hospital for two more weeks.

* * *

**Two more chapters. I think I went over the limit that I set for myself a while back. Sorry. :P**


	21. Daddies

James looked down at Emily in her crib, hands gripping the bars, chin on top of them.

"I can't stop looking at her. She's so pretty." he said dreamily.

Rosie smiled a little and looked down at her daughter. I could tell she was hurting.

It had been three months since Emily came home. Rosie was constantly over and didn't like to leave. She knew that she couldn't get too close to Emily because Emily wasn't really hers to be close to, but she couldn't help it. She was extremely maternal and I knew she was already in love with the baby.

Having to leave her brand new child every night, she babied Nate like crazy. He had never been so spoiled- getting ice cream all the time and getting constant kisses. Not that I didn't still give him attention, but I wasn't able to give him as much as he required from me. Carlos started taking up some of my jobs, like playing with him, but Nate got upset when I ignored him.

Sometimes when Emily cried, Rosie would go to the room, insisting we stay put. Emily would calm down almost immediately. Once I poked my head in the room to hear Rosie singing to Emily. It wasn't anything serious, but it was a song from her favorite movie, O Brother Where Art Though, called "Didn't Leave Nobody But the Baby". It was a pretty song, I'd heard it a few times, and it was sung as a trio in the movie. It was extremely repetitive, but soothing and sweet. She sung it all the time and it seemed to appeal to Emily.

I could tell how much Rosie was hurting now.

"Rosie?" I asked. "You okay?"

She looked down and shrugged.

James and I locked eyes and he pursed him lips, not knowing what to do. I rolled my eyes at him and stepped forward and hugged her.

"It's just hard to leave her everyday. Not be able to change her diaper or breastfeed her or hold her all the time... It kills me, Kenny." she sniffled. "I know that I'm TECHNICALLY her mother, but not really. But it's just driving me insane."

"I know, Rose." I sighed, rubbing her back. "I can't even imagine."

As Emily grew, you could tell that she had some of Rosie's attitude. She wouldn't drink her formula unless it was JUST the right temperature. Didn't tolerate a dirty diaper for long. She didn't like open footed onesies- she liked for her feet to be covered and warm.

She never really got much bigger like was anticipated. It wasn't like she was undergoing mal-nutrition or anything. She was just tiny in nature.

* * *

It was a Tuesday night.

Nate was over, but had fallen asleep on the couch, like James and almost me. I was just on the edge when a scream came from the bedroom, starting me and Nate awake. James, however, like mentioned WAAAAAY back when in the first chapter, could sleep through a bomb. Sometimes when Emily woke up in the middle of the night screaming, I'd nudge James awake to take care of it if I didn't want to. Otherwise he'd think Emily was a little angel at night.

"Daddy, Emma's up." Nate said sleepily.

I rubbed my face sleepily and got up as Nate snuggled back into the couch to go back to sleep.

"Wassa matter, Punkin?" I grumbled, picking the baby up from the crib. She didn't smell bad...

I took the crying Emma to the kitchen where I made her a warm bottle. She refused to even put it in her mouth.

She didn't want to play.

Wasn't hot or cold.

Didn't have a snotty nose.

"JAMIE!" I pleaded, shaking James awake. He snapped to attention, wiping drool from his mouth.

"Hm?"

"She. Won't. Stop." I said, eyes wide. James sleepily held out his arms and I put Emma in them as they brought the baby to James's hard chest.

"S'goin' on, Baby Girl?" James asked. Emma just looked up at him, crying. Normally she calmed down a LITTLE upon being held by him.

"She's not dirty. Not hungry. Not hyper. Not hot. Not cold. Not snotty." I groaned. "Not ANYTHING."

James brought Emma to his face to kiss her tiny Diamond nose and cheeks.

"Whaaaat?" James pleaded.

"Sing the song." I suggested.

"The dumb Rosie song? I don't even know it." James said.

I frantically turned on my computer and went to Youtube, typing in the movie title and song.

Immediately the song began playing. Rosie quieted a little, but went right back to crying.

"I'll take her to Rosie's." James said, getting up.

"I will." I said.

"No way- you're super sleep-deprived. Just get Nate to his room and go to bed. I'll be in in a while." James said, smoothing down my hair before leaving.

I picked up the limp Nate from the couch and laid him in his bed in the room with Emily's crib. Most of the time he slept either at Rosie's or on our couch- these days his bed was rarely used because of Emma's random nightly outbursts.

Sometimes when she cried a lot, he'd ask me to take him to Rosie's so he could sleep soundly. On these nights, Rosie would look worried. I knew she WAS worried- about Emma's moods and such.

After putting Nate to bed, I went to my own bed and sleepily laid down. Lately, me and James had been exhausted. Caring for Emily was tiring because she cried a lot- it was always something.

I had been asleep for a while until I felt James's weight shift the bed.

"Emma okay?" I grumbled.

"I had to leave her at Rosie's." James whispered, settling into the bed and draping an arm over my side. "She'd calm down, but start crying every time I tried to bring her back here. But Rosie was all too willing to take her for the night."

"Hm." I breathed before we both fell asleep, catching an entire night's slumber, uninterrupted by a screaming baby.

* * *

James smiled, looking down at Emma in her little carrier, wearing a cute pink dress, her blonde curls in pigtails with bows.

"Look at you, Emmy. So dang cute- just like your daddies." he said, lightly pinching her nose, making her grin.

"Gonna be late." I said, swiping up her carrier.

"No fun!" James called, hurrying behind me. We were at a photo shoot. Me, James, Rosie, Emma, and Nate. The public was super interested in our family apparently, so we were called to have some pictures taken.

"Where's Rosie and Nate?" I asked the photographer, looking around. We were in a weird sun room thing with plants everywhere. The photographer shrugged.

They finally showed. Rosie was in jeans and a grey v-neck, pink cami beneath it. Nate was in a t-shirt and grey beanie.

We took a picture- me, James, and Emma. Then all of us. Then all of us except James. Then me and Nate. Then James and Rosie and me. Then James and Emma. Emma and Rosie. Me and Rosie. Me, Rosie and Nate. Blah blah.

The magazine article, two pages full of paragraphs and pictures, read:

_The Diamonds- a twisted, yet adorable family! *picture of all of us*_

_Kendall (Knight) and James Diamond, a married couple from the boy band, Big Time Rush, have decided to have a child of their own! Emma Diamond is the daughter of Kendall and Rosie, but the child is raised as James and Kendall's. *picture of me, James, and Emma*_

_"It's hard to stand by and watch my daughter be raised by my brother and ex... But I'm happy for them. James really loves her and Kendall is the best father anyone could ask for. I know I'm not allowed to be her Mommy, but sometimes I sneak my moments in." Rosie Diamond shared with us. *picture of Rosie and Emma*_

_So where does Nathan come into play? He has a blast moving between apartments- Kendall's and James's to Rosie's. Kendall shares with us that lately Nathan has been staying at Rosie's, because of the baby. He doesn't like how much she cries at night. He wore a beanie to our photoshoot, showing just how similar he is with Kendall! They have the same eyes and dimples, but Nathan has Rosie and James's nose. We just wonder who Emma will look like! *picture of me and Nate and Rosie and Emma*_

_"It's not weird between me and Rosie. We dated for a long time before we were famous, but then we moved to California. Come to find out- she was pregnant! She moved here and had Nate- we raised him together. Yeah- before I was married there was some confusion as to which Diamond I wanted, but it's all resolved now. I thank God that she's so close with me and James- without her there's no way we could have a daughter that had both of our genes. It's not a weird thing with James, either. When he found out that his baby sister was pregnant with his boyfriend's baby, it really freaked him out. But he got over it eventually and have Emma was his idea! I think he really loves the relationship me and him and Rosie have- we're very tight-knit." Kendall says to us with a grin. *James and Rosie and me*_

_All we can say is that this is an ADORABLE little family! Just watching how well James fits in there- teasing his nephew and calming down his daughter when she got upset, he was just perfect! Although he's the odd man out, he loves his family all the same. Kendall even shares with us that they recently bought a house on the beach! We can't wait to see how the family grows!_

* * *

**I guess there's not much to review about on this one... Sorry. **


	22. Love, Kendall Diamond

My daughter is now eight months old. It's depressing, I know, but all adorable babies must grow up. Nate did.

She knew how to say "Daddy" and every time she said it, me AND James would turn. She also knew how to say "Nate" and a few other words.

She looked a lot like Nate did at her age. The curly blonde hair, the caramelly green eyes, the little dimples when she smiled. She was beautiful and James always said that he would have to fight the boys off of her pretty soon. We both hoped that Nate would be in school with her, in different grades of course, to look after her- be sure the boys stayed away. Nate was now four.

We were happy to bring in the last boxes into our new house. It was right next to Anne Hathaway's house on the beach and it was perfect for friends to come over and to raise a family. Nate and Emma had their own rooms.

"Well I guess that's that." Rosie said, looking around at the many boxes in the house. She was in a tank top and shorts, her brown hair in french braids. We had been busy all day- loading and unloading things.

"Guess so." Ryan said, leaning on her, an arm folded over her shoulder casually.

He was Rosie's boyfriend- they had been dating for about two months. I had to admit- he was perfect for her. Quirky and funny and great with the kids. He was quite a looker, too, with pale features, pale green eyes, and black curly hair. James liked him a lot and he hung out with us sometimes. I was glad that Rosie finally found someone to distract her from Emma.

"You guys need any help unpacking?" Rosie asked, elbowing Ryan away.

"I think we're good. We have Emma's crib set up- that's about all we really need." I shrugged.

"Okay- well I guess we'll take off then." Rosie said. "Nate?!"

Nate had run off somewhere- exploring the huge house.

"Guess that kid done R-U-N-N-O-F-T." Ryan said in a country accent, making Rosie giggle and light up. They shared the same obsession with the movie, O Brother Where Art Thou, and referenced everything to the movie.

"NATHAN JAMES!" Rosie called and we heard little running steps and Nate flew down the stairs and to his mom.

"Gimme kisses, baby. I'm going." she said, bending down. Another good thing about Ryan- he was classy. He didn't check Rosie out when she bent down or anything. Nate kissed her and gave her a hug. "Be good for Daddy and Uncle Jamie, okay?"

"Okay." he grinned.

"I love you." she said.

"Love you, too."

"See ya, Nate-o Potato." Ryan said, giving Nate knuckles before the child ran off again.

Rosie grinned and looped an arm around James's neck, kissing his cheek. Then she kissed Emma's cheek, who was in James's arm. Finally she hugged me.

"You need to have babies with that guy." I whispered in her ear. She laughed.

"I think Nate is enough for now." she said. "But you like him?"

"Yeah. I'm glad you have someone to take care of you." I said.

She pulled away with a grin.

"Kay, guys. Make sure Nate doesn't go to the beach alone or anything." she said seriously.

"What kind of a dad do you think I am?" I teased.

She shrugged with a smile as Ryan lead her out.

James sighed and sat on the floor against a wall, Emma propped up against his legs.

"He's a great guy." he said.

"Yeah."

"And I'm glad that Rosie moved on from my husband." he smirked.

"Me too."

He looked down at Emma, who had been sleeping all day and was quite hyper now.

"Emily Rose, you're just adorable." he grinned. He called her lots of things- Emily Rose, short for Emily Rosemary. Emma- which most people called her. Short for Emily. Emmy. Baby Girl. Angel. And sometimes he just called her "Kid". I called her Punkin, though. Like Pumpkin, but cuter. James told me that "his heart melted every time he heard it", so I stuck with it.

Emma grinned, her few tiny teeth showing. She was definitely a Daddy's Girl. Well, lemme rephrase that. A James's Girl. She wrapped her hands around his finger- her tiny finger nails painted red by Rosie- and she squeezed happily.

"Let's go to the beach." James said suddenly.

"What? But our swimsuits are packed up." I said.

"So?"

"I don't really wanna swim."

"So you can bring your computer and stay on the beach with Em. Me 'n Nate'll have FUN." he sneered.

James called for Nate and we all went down to the beach. It was about sunset and I found a nice place for me and Emma as James and Nate went out into the water- James only up to his shins.

And here I sit- on the beach in front of our own house, laptop on my lap. Writing this whole thing down. Maybe someday I'll let James read it... When we're older and it'll just be something to laugh about. When Rosie will laugh and wonder WHY I thought so hard about her before I got married. But for now, I think it'll hurt James. He's a big sensitive teddy bear... I couldn't risk it.

James is playing with Nate in the water, splashing him and making the little boy giggle and splash back.

Emma is sitting beside me in a pink checkered dress. She digs out a little shell, inspects it, and holds it up to me, caramelly green eyes full of wonder and excitement.

And I realize... There's nothing else to write. No- I'm caught up now. It's time to LIVE the story... Write more later. Once everything pans out more. Maybe Rosie will get married and start a whole other family. Maybe James and I will have another child. Maybe BTR will end and we'll be free to live our lives. But for right now, I need to turn off this laptop that I've been tip-tapping on for months, and do something.

I'll pick Emma up out of the sand and walk out to the shore, where I'll stand in the water and dangle her feet into the waves, her tiny legs getting wet, as I hold onto her by her wrists.

And James will scowl at me for holding her by her limbs, just like Rosie used to, and snatch her from me.

And Emma's eyes will light up and she will grin at her father as he kisses her forehead protectively.

And Nate will splash me playfully from behind and I'll turn and splash him back. Soon we'll both fall in the water in our clothes and scramble to find my sunglasses as James takes Emma back to the beach to take pictures of the life laid before him, like he loved to do. Maybe make a Keek or two.

The pictures will end up on Twitter and his new Facebook profile picture. Images of mine and Nate's silhouettes against the setting sun as we play and laugh. Emma in the sand, her little fingers finding shells everywhere. A picture of him holding her in his lap, Emma giving a grin of tiny teeth. His wedding ring glints in the setting sun.

And now, dear readers, I'm glad to say, I've completed the story of my life- for now.

Yes, two children, a best friend for a husband, a best friend for the mother of my kids, two other best friends to come over and give MORE love and attention to my kids. And amazing fans like you, who would do anything for me or my children, no matter the circumstances.

And now I have to go. Because my daughter is slowly crawling her way to the water.

Thanks for reading.

Love,

Kendall Diamond

* * *

**Naaaaw.**

**Kendall Diamond just sounds weird. **

**Cute ending, I know. Thank you, thank you.**

**So you read all 22 chapters, eh? You deserve a reward. And it's called... A sincere thank you from JMLHCPKSfan herself.**

**So thank you, dear readers. For ur support and reviews! :D**

**And if u never reviewed, this is ur last chance, man! DO IT. Do it. Do it do it. Do it.**

**I dunno if any of u have seen the BTR Cambio interview, but Logan and James did that "do it" thing. And now every time I say do it, I have to say it 3 more times. And nobody understands because I'm quite literally the only Rusher in my area.**

**I'm sorry. I love to rant on and on. But u guys know this already.**

**Check out some of my other stories, man! I have a collab coming out like- tomorrow probably. On my account. So be looking for it!**

**Okay. So- eh.**

**Review! :D**


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